FML's guide to a stress-free St Patrick's Day By Louis - 17/03/2017 18:15 - France - Paris Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there! I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 194 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 541 You deserved it 6 473
Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML I agree, your life sucks 304 You deserved it 85
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 843 You deserved it 5 165
Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 145 You deserved it 4 399
Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML I agree, your life sucks 490 You deserved it 120
Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 258 You deserved it 5 359
Today, I tried to redeem a gift certificate my fiance and I had been given for a free romance package at a hotel. The hotel closed permanently four years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 390 You deserved it 752
Today, I canceled going to a party with my sisters because I had a secret plan to have a threesome. They left for the party, but soon returned thinking it would be no fun without me. By then we were already making a lot of indecent noise. They heard it all. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 237 You deserved it 3 001