By Louis - France - Paris FML's guide to a stress-free St Patrick's Day Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rotarius - Canada - Toronto Today, instead of staying home, I took an hour-long bus ride in the middle of the night to my girlfriend's place because on the phone she said, "I desperately need your body right now". It turned out she was just cold. She is also on her period. FML I agree, your life sucks 19858 You deserved it 36765 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheGestalt97 Late warning Today, an email appeared in my inbox saying that the final this week that was supposed to be on Saturday has been moved forward to Thursday. It’s Friday. FML I agree, your life sucks 2087 You deserved it 163 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cassidy Bowen - United States - San Francisco Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 29516 You deserved it 6530 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By little nokken - United States Today, I was out driving with my dad when the car broke down. He made me get out and push. I am a 5 ft tall 90 lb girl, and the car was an SUV. FML I agree, your life sucks 3729 You deserved it 460 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mcase - United States - Compton Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31130 You deserved it 4944 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Birthday Boy Happy Birthday Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML I agree, your life sucks 5057 You deserved it 325 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By itsgotime - United States Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML I agree, your life sucks 98173 You deserved it 7881 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Swindon Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML I agree, your life sucks 46898 You deserved it 3360 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my sister, who has been seeing a guy for a year, got engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years and let out some not so subtle hints and he basically refused to propose. This is her second marriage in the time of my relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 13914 You deserved it 2441 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mary - Australia Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML I agree, your life sucks 30776 You deserved it 9107 323 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML I agree, your life sucks 37447 You deserved it 5263 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FistFighter - United States Night fight Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML I agree, your life sucks 26834 You deserved it 12914 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heatherfeather22 - United States - Ottumwa Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 38151 You deserved it 11162 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firstdate - United States Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML I agree, your life sucks 36137 You deserved it 5286 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JohhnyKeroscene - United States Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML I agree, your life sucks 24137 You deserved it 2806 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zit-Blues - United States Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML I agree, your life sucks 26999 You deserved it 8024 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Milk Dispenser - United States - Herriman Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML I agree, your life sucks 1903 You deserved it 334 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML I agree, your life sucks 68534 You deserved it 6214 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotJessePinkmanFFS - United States - Norwalk Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML I agree, your life sucks 23639 You deserved it 2253 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SadDaenerys Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I finished the Game of Thrones books before he could finish the TV show. FML I agree, your life sucks 13343 You deserved it 1379 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Samuel - Canada Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML I agree, your life sucks 29244 You deserved it 3981 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Katy Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 36776 You deserved it 2693 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blew it Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML I agree, your life sucks 3437 You deserved it 301 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML I agree, your life sucks 55393 You deserved it 4565 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sailorpete Today, I got fired from the job I've only had for a week. Between paying for a physical, my own background check and uniforms, I paid more money to start working there than I'll get from my one and only paycheck. FML I agree, your life sucks 1829 You deserved it 269 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oops - United Kingdom Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML I agree, your life sucks 46780 You deserved it 6787 198 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilikeirishducks - Italy Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML I agree, your life sucks 51714 You deserved it 21045 278 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By didntknowyoucouldbreakit - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML I agree, your life sucks 8978 You deserved it 42787 195 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wronged - Singapore Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 49362 You deserved it 7850 262 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justine Today, I finally confronted my daughter about never using air freshener after she poops. She said, "But I thought flushing made the smell go away!" She's 15 and she actually believed this. FML I agree, your life sucks 1259 You deserved it 552 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By T.C - United Kingdom Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 22042 You deserved it 2498 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML I agree, your life sucks 32734 You deserved it 4710 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML I agree, your life sucks 28929 You deserved it 3470 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drunkinriot - United States Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML I agree, your life sucks 34165 You deserved it 3040 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cats before idiots Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2242 You deserved it 251 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Kansas City Today, I uploaded a video to YouTube. I have around 20k subscribers, so I'm not a huge deal. I used a "fail" sound effect. I just got an email from YouTube saying that I got a copyright strike. They told me that it was the 4-second sound effect. They copyrighted 4 seconds of my video. FML I agree, your life sucks 1404 You deserved it 461 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hayleey_079 - United Kingdom Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML I agree, your life sucks 25953 You deserved it 3741 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fthislyfe - Netherlands Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML I agree, your life sucks 34379 You deserved it 3816 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DeaazGurl - 22/1/2021 17:01 Thievery Today, the medicine I keep at my desk for headaches is now gone thanks to my coworker who took the last 6 Advil at once. Her reasoning? "You're thin, so you wouldn't need them anyway. I'm twice your size, so I needed twice the dose." FML I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 32 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Hudson Falls Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 24549 You deserved it 2229 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 373 You deserved it 42 10 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 516 You deserved it 47 2 Comments