Awkward, Dating, First Dates and Love: First and last date - FML

First and last date

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

agreeclassic 52 310

vote type 1 4 243

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Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

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Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

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No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

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You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

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Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

agreeclassic 26 205

vote type 1 8 146

By newmoongirl1036 - 13/07/2015 02:03 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

agreeclassic 27 023

vote type 1 3 368

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

agreeclassic 12 926

vote type 1 38 070

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

agreeclassic 24 977

vote type 1 2 640

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

agreeclassic 28 800

vote type 1 3 351

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

agreeclassic 931

vote type 1 293

Next

TOP COMMENTS

SamanthaNGoree 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:10

Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?

Dashelle 25

Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:10

What a weirdo.

Comments

reflexion213 11

Wednesday 14 August 2013 22:56

What the actual ****

lelebabii45 0

Wednesday 14 August 2013 23:55

Wow I would've slapped him

maddienoelle 13

Thursday 15 August 2013 4:41

HAHA OMG

twinkiefeets 17

Thursday 15 August 2013 7:22

At least he takes his oral hygiene seriously.

rebel501 4

Thursday 15 August 2013 11:15

Was he large dumb Hairy chest large feet carries a club. I lost my cave man a while back. He likes to floss with body hair.

Alyxi 20

Thursday 15 August 2013 15:20

it almost sounds like this OCD I once read about. Does he have OCD? if so then maybe you can work around it? If not...well run...run fast and run far. crazy really IS catching it seems now-a-days ;)

cheer21moose 13

Friday 16 August 2013 0:19

Yep. There is definitely some barf in my mouth.

Kyp_kingofhearts 12

Friday 16 August 2013 7:31

That's creepy as ****. Total mood killer.

La_Donna 3

Saturday 17 August 2013 14:23

Oh come on. This is from When Harry Met Sally. Seriously FML, research your shit before you let the fake posts through.

Colonel_Fluffy 2

Sunday 25 August 2013 6:39

Did you still like him after that?

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Today, three people commented on my new haircut. The one I got about two weeks ago. FML

agreeclassic 266

vote type 1 141

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

agreeclassic 60 521

vote type 1 36 842

Today, my friend sent me a weird selfie in black and white. I sent one back, and she said I looked like an 80s porn star. It was funny, but then three of my friends had the same reaction. I didn't even look good in the picture. FML

agreeclassic 567

vote type 1 198

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

agreeclassic 56 954

vote type 1 22 250

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

agreeclassic 41 157

vote type 1 6 206

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

agreeclassic 42 779

vote type 1 3 608