Alcohol, Gross and Health: Drink up - FML

Drink up

By ugh!! - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I drank for every year I've been in school. While in my bed I felt I was too drunk to get up and throw up in the bathroom so I decided to just do it on my floor and clean it up later. Later on I woke up and realized I threw up on my $1000 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 940

You deserved it 228 508

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Same thing different taste

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 988

You deserved it 3 709

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 1 290

Hangover

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 3 171

Gushing

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 15:45 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 291

You deserved it 38 667

By Jigll - 13/10/2008 08:26

Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 657

You deserved it 76 923

Wild night, huh?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 22:00

Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 412

TW: gross

By Unimpressed - 03/06/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 518

You deserved it 58 981

By pukeytimes - 10/04/2015 23:03 - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 840

You deserved it 2 260

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 13:30 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 1 134

By awkward drunk - 29/01/2011 12:40 - Canada

Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 214

You deserved it 45 758

Next

Top comments

Ole_Stinker 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:48

Had you gotten out of bed you probably would have stomped on it anyway.

Dr_Phil 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:28

Wow, that was pretty stupid.

Comments

Afroninja4566 21

Monday 9 September 2013 5:34

Wow.....you sir are retarded when you are drunk

Bluemonster3 26

Monday 21 October 2013 2:20

How do you not deserve this?

RockNRollAndrew 18

Saturday 14 December 2013 19:54

Who spends 1000 dollars on a laptop???

Narttu 20

Monday 31 March 2014 21:13

You, sir, are a ******* idiot.

TheTedster 15

Monday 7 July 2014 11:27

Today, my owner showed up, obviously intoxicated. Then, he threw up. On me. Which destroyed my keyboard and wiring. I can't be repaired. FML

MehrunesDagon456 20

Friday 3 October 2014 4:55

Who buys a 1000 dollar laptop!?!? That's stupid! Could feed a family for nearly half a year.

MattChristensen 14

Friday 6 March 2015 22:20

$1000 isn't too bad for a laptop

carmaisabitch 20

Monday 24 August 2015 7:26

Dude- u need help!

MozillaHostile 21

Monday 21 September 2015 9:18

How much you wanna bet it was MacBook?

DemonEthanol 7

Thursday 17 March 2016 4:48

YDI for drinking that much all at once.

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Today, my wife of one week changed locks of the house and put my stuff outside. A letter addressed to “Elizabeth” had arrived in the mail. She thinks it’s my “secret side wife” and that I’m cheating. She was actually the previous owner of the house. My wife told me to, “Tell that lie to someone else.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 161

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I gave my boss two weeks notice for me leaving work, as I had received a better job offer with twice the pay. I thought he took it well until I heard him mutter under his breath, "About fucking time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 310

You deserved it 1 628

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 962

You deserved it 2 523

Today, my landlord, due to a past of being an asshole and now enhanced with dementia, suddenly jumped down my throat for parking incorrectly in the driveway, because there's no room for their two cars. He hasn't had two cars in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 159

Today, my boyfriend was cold and distant with me, after holding me the day before and telling me to my face we were OK and that he wasn’t upset anymore. I tried to give him space originally but he insisted he didn’t need it. Now i just feel stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 134

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 738

You deserved it 6 637

Today, it's been a few weeks since I moved into my own place, so I decided to visit my parents. I rang to ask for a good time to come over but all I got was basically, "Nope, you’re moved out now, a grown up, no longer our problem, ring us when you get some girl pregnant with our first grandbaby, bye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 112