Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and I was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML
Today, I was suffering from some gastric distress. While on my way to a job interview, I slipped on some concrete that was wet due to a recent slight rain shower. I didn't fall. I DID shit my pants though. I walked back home slowly in shame to clean up the mess. I didn't make it to the interview. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML
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Top comments
wholelottaROSIE_fml 0
if youve got a sweaty buttcrack, dont wear a white skirt. its really not that hard.
Guiseppi 0
Probably fell out, hon.
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Comments (72)
kaitlyn3xo 0
I'm pretty sure it just fell out it didn't crawl up your ass
ncvolley123 8
u shouldn't be alarmed, toilet paper dissolves after being wet for a long period of time.
corocoro 30
I would be very alarmed at the thought of a pulpy mass of toilet paper slowly oozing down my leg, but maybe that's just me.
jenchen 0
you're an idiot. :)
tchaikovsky93 0
Hahahhahahaha wow!
starberries 0
If it was a man, there would only be one place it could go up. And he probably wouldn't be wearing a skirt.
ydi_4_suking 20
I think the butt cheeks chewed it up for a bit. Then the a-hole started to munch on it and swallowing it up. Or it fell out your buttcrack
rebekahah 7
hehe that's happened to me before. :/
SaharNar 0
ew ;P
butterflyz1961 2
Maybe you left it behind at the interview.
yawndiver 2
TMI