By sparkrok - United States - Puyallup Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37855 You deserved it 18682 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 43260 You deserved it 3569 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jsmills92 - United States - Cranston Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML I agree, your life sucks 38332 You deserved it 4422 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just me - United States Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML I agree, your life sucks 26550 You deserved it 4439 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotAGoodDay - United Kingdom - Sudbury Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 14495 You deserved it 1103 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/9/2020 20:03 - Australia FML every way you look at it Today, I had an enjoyable Tinder date, but I wasn't feeling any physical attraction because of her short hair. I let her know, to which she replied, "I don't like it either but growing it after chemo is a slow process." FML I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 2955 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By neelloc83 - United States Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML I agree, your life sucks 11049 You deserved it 67917 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By muffincakess - France Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML I agree, your life sucks 9903 You deserved it 36952 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - Canada Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML I agree, your life sucks 53592 You deserved it 12877 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML I agree, your life sucks 41636 You deserved it 4172 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 17427 You deserved it 23693 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheTruthofWomen - United States Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 69988 You deserved it 4644 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By airrinw_33 - United States - Greenwood Today, my boyfriend's mom bought us matching purity rings. FML I agree, your life sucks 33990 You deserved it 5715 128 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jerry - 4/1/2021 10:58 Best thing to do Today, I walked in on my wife and my buddy from work. They didn’t even stop. I just went to a motel to get drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 1202 You deserved it 98 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By babyeaternomnom - Canada - Brampton Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML I agree, your life sucks 27788 You deserved it 2316 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Concord Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML I agree, your life sucks 44282 You deserved it 4837 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I told my students that I would be taking a few weeks off because a member of my family is very ill. They all cheered. FML I agree, your life sucks 30405 You deserved it 9650 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KaYLa_LoUiSe - 8/8/2020 08:03 Narcissistic parents FTW Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 1389 You deserved it 178 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By drive thru madness - United States - Amherst Today, I was working the drive-thru. Everything was going fine until I handed a customer her order and said, "Happy Holidays". Before she drove off, she yelled, "it's Merry Christmas, bitch" and threw her coffee at the window. I'm Jewish and was trying to be polite. FML I agree, your life sucks 8962 You deserved it 915 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ChildFree - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31196 You deserved it 4524 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crash - United States Beep beep Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10134 You deserved it 61193 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/9/2020 05:02 - Germany Two states of matter Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 1258 You deserved it 76 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xoragebaby - United States Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML I agree, your life sucks 37578 You deserved it 4976 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ApparentlyIFail - France Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML I agree, your life sucks 32639 You deserved it 3184 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MrAries - United States Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 19621 You deserved it 2266 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By POLYBLOT - United States Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 14919 You deserved it 55925 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PinkMonkeys Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML I agree, your life sucks 10501 You deserved it 868 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emih - United States Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair that he'd just cut. FML I agree, your life sucks 25427 You deserved it 3115 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Victoria Today, my mother still refuses to acknowledge my son as her grandson, all because I had a C-section, which she says is unnatural and against God's will. I only had the C-section in the first place for health reasons. FML I agree, your life sucks 14521 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1156 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Larry - United States Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML I agree, your life sucks 27948 You deserved it 2230 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Luke - United States Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML I agree, your life sucks 18327 You deserved it 36282 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - Australia - Maida Vale Today, my car broke down on my way home from university. I tried calling for help, only to realise my phone had completely run out of charge. Luckily, I had passed a police station so I decided to walk the 10 minutes down the road to ask for a phone. When I got there, the station was closed. FML I agree, your life sucks 14107 You deserved it 1005 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dkim620 - United States Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 26419 You deserved it 4340 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sal - 27/9/2020 05:02 - Canada Unloveable Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 989 You deserved it 251 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML I agree, your life sucks 27187 You deserved it 13775 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was in the grocery store buying a few things. A sales associate came over the intercom system saying, "Attention Safeway customers. If you drive a blue Subaru, it's rolling into 18th Ave." Everyone laughed except me. I forgot to set the brake. FML I agree, your life sucks 20668 You deserved it 48417 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brazo667 - United States - Fort Stewart Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML I agree, your life sucks 29450 You deserved it 5766 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lostinthewoods Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. When we got to the bottom of the mountain, we discovered we were on the wrong side. We had to hike 13 extra miles to go around the mountain to get back to our car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1734 You deserved it 332 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sothishappened - United States - Joliet Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML I agree, your life sucks 45619 You deserved it 8755 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lizz - United States Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML I agree, your life sucks 25617 You deserved it 3085 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By melisssa87 | 30 #7706984 - Wednesday 10 October 2018 23:46 I want to hug and kiss every dog I see but I’m not sure every owner would approve Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Dave_Davington | 33 #7707008 - Thursday 11 October 2018 1:15 I do that with my Great Dane all the time. Really builds that upper body strength. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By melisssa87 | 30 #7706984 - Wednesday 10 October 2018 23:46 I want to hug and kiss every dog I see but I’m not sure every owner would approve Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Dave_Davington | 33 #7707008 - Thursday 11 October 2018 1:15 I do that with my Great Dane all the time. Really builds that upper body strength. Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Charlie Given | 23 #7707090 - Thursday 11 October 2018 7:06 That's the vet I wanna bring my pet too she's awesome and hot😎😘 Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Ih8teenageangst | 19 #7707906 - Friday 12 October 2018 20:41 That's a cat Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 635 You deserved it 186 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1126 You deserved it 173 11 Comments