Today, I came home to yet another kitten. My girlfriend swore to me this would never happen again. When I reminded her of her promise, she told me the kitten will be staying, and she wants me to move out. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
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Top comments
False_Stupidity 41
Did you give her an ultimatum such as 'either I go or the kitten goes'? If so, that's where you went wrong.
pharm121 21
I say when you move out take the kitten with you.
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Comments (24)
RichardPencil 30
You've got to be kitten me!
hunterseal 18
Between you and a helpless kitten, what did you think?? If they are saved strays from the street they need a home, if she is is deliberately out adopting kittens then that might be a problem since they do add up financially and maybe it's her way of dumping you.
kasuke06 5
and? So rarely does crazy present itself so blatantly and even ask you to leave, instead of you know, taking a knife to your bits while you sleep. Count your blessings, pack 'em and GTFO.
amarie2009 22
If it's your house and if you pay the bills trow her out! If not leave NOW, because you dodged a bullet there!!
onceuponatime456 16
Sounds like you dodged a bullet!
bkwusa 15
Crazy Cat Lady in the making...
Razell 13
20 years down the road, she'll be bitching about how she has no man and only her cats to keep her company. And you - if you are foolish enough to keep in contact with her - will be able to say "Well, what else did you expect?" Seriously, OP that sucks. You're probably better off with out her though. Bright side, if you are the only one on the apartment lease, she's the one that has to leave.
Catdragon 40
honestly cats are better lol
Canary_molly 3
But was the cat cute though????
fmlstarterkit 13
crazy cat lady
ShriveledGent 7
It is hilarious as much as it is tragic that your partner prefers feline company to yours. The kittens might be doing something for or to her that you have yet to accomplish.