Dogs and Animals: Carpe diem

Carpe diem

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 567

You deserved it 12 006

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Top comments

Epic_Phale615 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:03

Don't trick your dog by getting into the doggy style position?

A7X_LoVeee 10

Thursday 24 March 2011 0:03

Don't lie. you enjoyed it.

Comments

nickdunbar 8

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:08

lol that happens to me all the time

Edpaul 4

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:08

hahahahahahhaahahhaha

GeneralMotors 23

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:11

how long did u let him do it?

Daddy_Phat_Stack 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:11

that really sucks..least now u know not to do it again tho :P

MAXCAT1220 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:18

SEXY

BlahBlahBenji 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:21

he probably thought you liked it DoggyStyle!xP

YoUglyMama 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:24

he knew what he was doing

kyleryan 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:28

Well when opportunity comes knocking.....

alch4 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:29

don't be a negative Nancy

chaseisbeast91 1

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:40

Heyy(:

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was tempted into clicking a shady link with the promise of free MP3s of De La Soul’s first four albums, with all the original samples. Long story short, I had to do a system restore on my laptop. Now it won’t play audio files for some inexplicable reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 699

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 780

You deserved it 5 102

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were on a date and he starts complaining about how his back is hurting him. He complains the whole evening. Fast forward to later that night, we are in bed so I ask him if he was feeling OK. He says, "I guess so. I'm just confused about my feelings for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 634

You deserved it 1 029

Today, I got a call from this drunk man, asking for Celeste. Since I don't know any Celestes, I told him that he had the wrong number. He kept calling for her. Apparently he can't take a hint that she didn't give him her real number, and I get to deal with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 532

You deserved it 3 200

Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 275

Today, I missed out on my first cooking lesson because I was an hour late. I cannot go to the rest of them because if you don't attend the first class then you are not allowed to attend the rest. I just spent $70 on a cooking course that I won't be able to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 263

You deserved it 12 125

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 526

You deserved it 2 666

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 887

You deserved it 5 655