Boundaries

By Sfg_926 - 26/06/2016 05:02 - United States - Newberg

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 907
You deserved it 3 578
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Top comments

zobara 29

Answer her politly, "I'm really sorry making you feel that way by telling you something nice, I'll do it never again" and don't forget to cc it to all others. That's a way to let know the others, how stupid she is, without saying it.

413 35
9a_z1 11

Well, at least now you and everyone else know not to compliment her on her appearance!

239 12

Comments

PMprotege 9

what's wrong with people in today's society? Can't even compliment someone without looking like the office creep

32 26
TheyCallMeDamien 17

Limit your interactions with her. Unless this is a job you just love or need I'd look for a new one. This has the potential to escalate. I don't know if the two of you have history but if you don't then this is just the beginning.

5 17
ragnarok1540 39

Well, OP. Now, you know not to judge a person by appearance. Just because a person is cute doesn't mean she/he has a nice personality ... It's understandable that a person can be uncomfortable with a compliment on her/his appearance. However, situations of this nature should be handled privately either by directly speaking with the complimenter or speaking with HR or a superior if the matter is serious. However, broadcasting the email to the entire office shows that your coworker is immature and attention seeking.

21 6
jamiejones455 3

Yeah, you deserved it. She's right. She came to work to earn money to pay her bills and live her life. Not to be oogled by and harassed by you. Pity you were not fired for sexual harassment.

8 52
Jashie 18

Are you joking or is this a real comment?

20 9
QueenSaru 28

Admittedly there's not a lot of context in FMLs, but saying, "Hey you look cute today." or "That outfit looks cute." doesn't usually have sexual intent attached to it. Of course we don't know the tone, etc, but usually people who don't see anything wrong with sexual harassment say things like, "Damn you look sexy." or "You look so hot today." Barring the fact that we don't know the context and she could be right for feeling uncomfortable, there's nothing wrong with saying so in the moment (or even after the fact if you're not confrontational), but it's EXTREMELY unnecessary to CC the ENTIRE office who has no context for the interaction and may now treat OP like a sex offender when it could be something innocent.

27 3
oneloonyluna 13

If calling someone cute meant you were oogling them, the why do people call kids cute 23?

19 6
jamiejones455 3

It's a real comment, and I stand by it. There should have been a "you deserved it" option on this one, not a pitiful "it could have happened to me." My bad though. I should have realized that that FML commenters would not understand why telling someone they work that "you look cute today" is wrong and could be a firing offense.

13 28
trucker2 33

Seriously....she has issues avoid her

4 9
crims0nangel 16

As a woman I would take cute over "Hey lookin good, hey sexy, I'd hit that" types of comments any day. Cute is innocent, like puppies are cute, kids are cute....OMG I'm sexually harassing puppies and kids call the police!

11 9
crazyoliversmum 6

She shouldn't have cc'ed the entire office, but you shouldn't have called her cute. As someone previously has said, apologise and cc everyone in again to show you've taken note of her discomfort and don't do it again. I have been on the receiving end of such comments at work, and it wasn't once off, even though the ******** said it wouldn't happen again. I hated it and I hated coming to work because of that, even though I've never had any problems with other co-workers in the 6 years I've been at that workplace.

29 5
peachykeen93 17

She didn't come to work to have you look at her body and approve or not. YDI, good for her for standing up for herself and making you think twice on why YOUR opinions should matter about HER body.

11 35
Jashie 18

Holy crap it's called a compliment. Cute might have been the wrong word to use, but we can't assume he was trying to sexually harass anyone. Like he didn't deserve anything, she wasn't sticking up for herself she was being a dick. Talk to the dude in private if you find people complimenting your appearance uncomfortable.

22 15
oneloonyluna 13

He called her cute, like you would a ******* kid. Chill. Only an oversensitive nut job with a zeppelin of an ego would be offended by something as innocent as cute.

21 11
countryb_cth 38

He didn't even specifically call her cute, he said her outfit looked cute. Not like he said "your outfits cute, it would look cuter on my floor." It was an innocent comment. If she had a problem she should have talked to him, not cc'd the enter office. Now she just looks like an attention seaker.

7 8
PainInTheAsss 16

Exactly. The workplace is where you get work done. Nobody should ever feel uncomfortable and he obviously put her in that position. Good for her for speaking her feelings.

7 8
kingdomgirl94 29

44, you hit the nail on the head as to why it's a problem. It's demeaning. Would you tell your boss or your buddy that they looked cute? Cute IS for kids and puppies and shit like that. You don't to a coworker like they're a puppy or a child. How someone looks is none of your concern and you don't need to voice your approval because it's not required. If you want to compliment someone at work, compliment their work ethic or their job performance. You know, something relevant. That goes a lot farther than a half-assed compliment in one's appearance anyways.

5 1
graceinsheepwear 33

There's a difference between saying "I like your outfit" and "You look really cute today." The latter is too personal for work.

31 2
QueenSaru 28

Do you guys not have friends at work? Seriously, wtf.

2 13
SilverInGray 25

If they were friends, she probably wouldn't have sent the email.

22 0
mooman36 15

"I do apologise that you thought me being polite was inappropriate. As per your request I shall refrain from being polite to you in the future."

15 13
SilverInGray 25

Honestly, I think that would be fine to email, if it had gone straight to the op. No need to involve others in it. Unless of course she's done that before, and op continued to make her uncomfortable knowingly. Then you deserve what you get, to get you to stop.

21 1