Miscellaneous: Asshats

Asshats

By anon - 09/12/2025 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 185

You deserved it 4 937

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Stained

By One pissed girlie - 19/01/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 98

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 676

You deserved it 17 316

Kinda brought it onto yourself

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 2 275

By Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 425

You deserved it 5 267

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 755

Simply red

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 779

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 385

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 9 275

Toasted

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 200

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 632

You deserved it 4 330

nato2101 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.

TWlCH 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:12

On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?

Comments

wowfmlife 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:42

Wow, it was obviously a thing of red gatorade, people. They were probably playing basketball or something and brought it with them. Why were you wearing an espnsive white dress to the park? And those kids aren't too bright but this isn't and grounds to sue.

officialk 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:50

some people are so DUMB! i would be sooooo mad

percypigs 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:53

That really sucks. I'd freak out if someone threw liquid over me, because that's what they do if they're planning to set you on fire apparently :/

suckstobeyou3 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:02

Now you have a pretty red dress.

bellstrange 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:02

have you ever heard of bleach?

f_this_noise 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:08

what is wrong with wearing white? you people are ridic. White is a classy color on all skin tones and anyone with a rudimentary sense of responsibility and cleanliness can keep it pristine. So stfu about her wearing a white dress. Girls look hot in dresses, and they look especially hot in nice dresses. It is not her fault for taking care in her appearance, and it is not her fault she happened to be enjoying a nice day around some random guys who suck at pranks. I hope you beat their asses and made them pay for the damage. Take their money and go buy an even nicer dress!