Nearly FMLs

By alvesr - 22/01/2016 13:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, while driving on a icy highway, I over heard on the radio how rear end collisions were the most common type of car accidents.Next thing i knew it, my car skidded, right into the rear end of another car. FML.

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By Charlie529 - 22/01/2016 12:58 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I jokingly pointed out to a co-worker that part of the lyrics to one of her favourite dubstep remixes sounds like the word "piss" repeatedly. Not only is she not talking to me but now I am a pariah to the entire auditing department. FML

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By kamsy - 22/01/2016 12:48 - United Kingdom

Today i rushed back home from work to pick up some documents, only to find my husband wearing my make up,my bra and my panties when i asked him what he was doing he told me to relax that he was only trying to find out what he would look like if he was a girl, we've been married for 8 years

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By stevieman99 - 22/01/2016 12:46 - United States - Parrish

Today, as I was mid beating my sisters boyfriends ass for him having an affair, my sister came running in yelling, " He said he's going to a fair, not an affair!" FML

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By sore - 22/01/2016 12:41 - Australia - Lidcombe

Today, I found out a 15 kg husky can leap over 5 feet of floor and land precisely on 2 inches of testicles.

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By WabbyFish - 22/01/2016 12:37 - United States

Today, when I woke up, I changed my tampon. As I held it by the string and about to throw it away, I sneezed and hit myself in the face with said tampon. I promptly then threw up all over myself, stood up and walked to turn on the shower, and slipped and fell in said vomit. FML

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By bannerhipneck - 22/01/2016 12:29 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I was making an event page for my 21st birthday and accidentally invited my friends dead twin brother, he died by suicide last month. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 11:55 - India - Noida

Today, I lost my car's smart keys which will cost around $207, I have no job. FML

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By gemloucox - 22/01/2016 11:52 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, my 4 year old face timed my boss whilst I was on the toilet and brought the phone in to show him. Monday is going to be awkward. FML

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By krh - 22/01/2016 11:52 - United States - Fairfax

Today, my girlfriend bitched me out for not being around to celebrate our anniversary. I'm currently attending an out of state university hundreds of miles away. FML

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By anonymous - 22/01/2016 11:51 - United States - Fulshear

Today, I found out my heater has been tripping a breaker in my house. I now have to choose between heat, clean clothes, and electricity in my room. FML.

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By tittyboomboom - 22/01/2016 11:49 - Australia - South Brisbane

A friend of mine invited me to a big party she was throwing, a dress up party she tells me. Upon entering the party dressed as a ewok, I realized we have different ideas on what a dress up party is.

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 11:35 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I walked up to my girlfriends locker at the end of the day to say bye and give her a kiss, and I watched her stick her hand down the pants of my best friend while they were making out then she saw me and she told me to fuck off. Fml

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By anon - 22/01/2016 11:21 - Australia - Preston

Today, I was helping my boyfriend put a drip tray under his car. He asked me to hold it while he was checking where the car was leaking. I ran my hands across the edges of the tray to get a better grip, not realising how sharp it was. I sliced open both sides of my palms open. FML.

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By kkerr13 - 22/01/2016 11:12 - United States - Waynesville

Today, after a year my of my boyfriend shoving the idea of anal down my throat he finally convinced me. 10 seconds in, he determines it was gross and now refuses to have sex with me at all. FML.

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By RocketGirl92 - 22/01/2016 10:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to tell my grandparents the exciting news that my sister that was adopted found me. Before I could tell them what was so exciting they guessed "you're going to get married?!".. I have been single 2 years. All news after that was disappointment. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 10:20 - United States - Mohave Valley

Today, the girl of my dreams turned me down because she said I would make things weird for her job. I then found out why: Turns out the girl of my dreams is the subject of many guy's wet dreams, because she's a porn star. FML

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By RocketGirl92 - 22/01/2016 10:18 - United States

Today, I drove 20 hours straight to see my parents. when I got there, they greated my dog. I've still yet to get a hug. FML

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By almostadult - 22/01/2016 09:52 - United Kingdom - Alton

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she wanted to 'see other people'. By that, she means that she wants to move in with her new girlfriend she met on Tinder. FML.

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 09:50 - United States - Manassas

Today, I got home after being gone for 2 weeks taking care of an Ill family member. My boyfriend stayed home to take care of the animals, one of which is my parrot. I come home to it saying O' Mary, O' Mary in a grunting voice...my names not Mary. FML

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By Linachen - 22/01/2016 09:07 - Germany - Bruckberg

Today, after disagreeing on various topics such as TV series and movies, I got hit with a beer bottle in the face, which knocked out one tooth and broke another. FML

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By Smashed - 22/01/2016 09:07 - Australia - Braddon

Today, I found a note from my best friend of 25 years to my wife and mother of my three children, which include the phrase 'to taste the sweet soft caress of your lips on mine'. FML

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By lunalia6 - 22/01/2016 08:06 - Belgium

Today, well last night, I was fast asleep when my boyfriend suddenly starts screaming at me. He wouldn't explain why. As I was tired, I just let him be. In the morning when I asked what was wrong, he said "I couldn't stand that you are better at Candy Crush than I and I got mad." OK then love .. FML

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By ishred - 22/01/2016 07:56 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is bisexual. This wouldn't be an issue at all except for that 1) he never mentioned this fact in three years of exclusive relationship, and 2) I found out by walking in on him and my brother. FML

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By Whoops - 22/01/2016 07:22 - United States - Saint Albans

Today, I went to the park with my brother. We were on a seesaw. When I went to get up, he jumped and I fell. I hit my head and pissed myself. FML

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By anon - 22/01/2016 07:13 - United States - Westminster

Today, I was more excited about cleaning my ears than I was about sex. FML

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By nominaski - 22/01/2016 06:41 - United States - Dupont

Today, I emailed my submission to a publishing company feeling confident that they'll like my book. Later, I rechecked their website, and had somehow missed the requirements on formatting the submission. I only completed one of the requirements. FML

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By mc123 - 22/01/2016 05:46 - United States

Today, out of spite and anger, I ate an entire 1/2 pound Hershey bar that I got my now ex-boyfriend for Christmas. I now feel awful. FML

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By moo - 22/01/2016 05:42 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I was taking a video with my friend during math class. I decided to put my hair into a bun so I flip my hair down and hit my forehead hard on the table. FML

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By mc93 - 22/01/2016 05:39 - United States

Today, while at Chili's I opened Google on my boyfriends phone only to find a PornHub tab still open. FML

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child-sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 667

Today, I'm 37 years-old. I work full time and make 20 dollars an hour. I live with my parents. I still cannot afford to move out and I'm completely broke. I keep overspending because I get anxious because I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to sugar and eat a pint of ice cream a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 628

Today, after years of torment by my anxiety disorders and therapy and medication not helping, I've made the decision to try hypnosis. After doing a Google search and finding out my therapist is a man, my overly jealous fiancé insisted on joining, "because he might hypnotise you into cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 220

You deserved it 2 390

Today, my fiancé said we should get married in a Satanic temple. He's already found one he likes, and says we should get matching tattoos instead of rings. Never date a man who didn't have a rebellious period as a teenager, or it'll come out in his 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 314

Today, I had to ask my dad to drop me off at my doctor's appointment. He insisted on coming up to the waiting room with me. When my doctor came out, he greeted her with, "Hi, I'm the dad, but I won't sit in because she's a 'big girl now'." I'm 21, and I was at my gyno check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 133

Today, I finally met the cute guy that I've been talking to for the last 3 weeks. Turns out "5'8"" was a really big exaggeration for "5"3' in boots'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 916

You deserved it 1 431