Nearly FMLs

By "ZevraTiver" - 29/07/2017 04:27

Today, My in-laws found "My pipe" on our kitchen counter. It's not mine. But, now I know my brother must have a spare key to the house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 13

By unlucky - 29/07/2017 02:50

I have to take a licencing exam for my program. It has an application process that takes about a month to process and costs $200. Today was my exam. I could not take the test because I didn't put my second middle name's initial on my application. Now I have send in a new application and another 200

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 12

By CitySlicker727 - 29/07/2017 02:38

Today, while running to catch my train in NYC, I stepped in something and slid about 2 feet. Wondering what I could have stepped in...a smell hit my nose...human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 23:16 - United States - Arroyo Grande

Today I was standing in line to use the restroom while waiting my boyfriend left to go talk to a friend I looked over to see who he was talking to and a bunch of children lined up in front of me. When I went to say excuse me I was in line the mother turned to me and said you snooze you loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 20

By Uggh - 28/07/2017 22:50

Today, my RM refuses to have the router fixed because he simply doesn't care. It's hot as hell outside, I've finished all my books, and I can't afford to drive anywhere for fun. The only thing to do is watch TV. My RM won't watch anything but cheesy western shows. I'm using my data for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 18

By Lily - 28/07/2017 21:45 - United States - Houston

Today, I left my keys in the car. I called my boyfriend and he said he could come during lunch and help me get them. I said no it would be fine, that the garage door was unlocked and I could get in and out that way. Turned out the garage door was not unlocked and I was locked INSIDE my house. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 20:40

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. With two people. Who were both men. They were my father and ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 20:22

Today my girlfriend told me that when she was gone for a week, last week. That she didnt miss me.She said that it was nice not hearing from you all the time. Then she tells me that she doesnt know what this means FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 9

By "Karen L" - 28/07/2017 20:20 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I got abdominal distension due to some viral infection. My dear husband told me that I should eat something cold or irritative so that I would get diarrhea and the distension would go away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 6

By sofrustrated - 28/07/2017 19:53

Today, two years after it started, my husband finally saw a doctor about his erectile dysfunction and got a scrip. Today is also the day my period started... FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 11

By Effedforgood? - 28/07/2017 18:56

Today topped of a great month. I got in an accident with my work truck, yesterday i witnessed a house burn down and my work truck was vandalized. My wages are going to be garnished due to debt. And my fiance of 5 years and mother of my daughter got addicted to drugs and is screwing the dealer. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 17:32

Today, I figured out that my husband rides his truck more than he rides me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 20

By Toshi - 28/07/2017 16:32

Today, the rest of the family and I started speaking pig latin around grandma, once I realized she couldn't understand us if we did so. You see, as she has gotten older, she has gotten meaner, much much meaner. I think I'm going to be disinherited for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 19

By JDC - 28/07/2017 13:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years thinks so little of our future together that he doesn't want to share a Costco membership. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 804

You deserved it 538

By AnthonysGurrrl - 28/07/2017 12:01 - United States - Sioux City

Today, my husband and I went to the spa at our gym to enjoy the hot tub. After several minutes of conversation with another couple,while we snuggled and kissed a bit, my husband leaves to take a dip in the pool. The couple asks if he's my son. WHAT?! FML!

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 12

By paocj - 28/07/2017 11:32

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months confessed he FaceTime his ex girlfriend daily for hours and while doing that he ignores me

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 12

By This Chick - 28/07/2017 09:32

Today, I joined a dating site to help my social life in the town I moved to. After 8 hours at my job I come home and check if I got any matches. Good news - I had 8. Bad - all but one were women. 2 of whom asked to meet. I'm a woman. And straight. So were they. I'm so needy for friends I agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 28/07/2017 08:07

Last night, I showed my husband definitive proof that he cheated and he still won't admit to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 14

By janeeyy - 28/07/2017 07:50 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went to a club with a guy and I end up seeing the other guy I liked at the same one. Somehow they know about each other and they were both drunk. Long story short, they tried to fight each other and ended up starting a crowd. The next day one of them blocked me on everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 41

By live in parasite - 28/07/2017 07:08

My boyfriends 'buddy' has now been 'crashing' for 7 months. After 2 months, be bought his own bed, as our futon wasn't up to his standards. He has a job, yet refuses to chip in. Our electric and water bills have doubled. My boyfriend seems on fence as to which relationship is more important to him

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 12

By HecticDaze - 28/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today my girlfriend told me she was going to have an abortion. After years of not wanting children I found the woman I thought I wanted to have kids with and I was really excited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 18

By sleeplesswithaparasite - 28/07/2017 06:49

My fiancé's buddy has been 'crashing for a bit, til he gets his shit together' it's been 7 months. He's a lazy, fat bastard who snores loudly and makes nasty noises in his sleep. He refuses to chip in with bills or clean anything. And my fiancé wonders why I'm never in the mood anymore.

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 13

By GoofyGoober - 28/07/2017 06:03 - United States

Today i realized I'm starting to have bad luck. After I hurt my ankle trying to be goofy in front of my boyfriend, I woke up today and hit my head off the door frame and fell down my stairs with a sprained ankle. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 15

By I also have pittakionophobia - 27/07/2017 01:39

Today, after thinking I scored on a discount chocolate cake, I went to indulge in some of it as soon as I got home. Unfortunately, while slowly peeling back the label that keeps the container intact, I noticed a medium-sized dead fly stuck to the sticky side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 3

By KaD - 27/07/2017 01:12

Today, things have been bad for so long, that when I tried to do a 'thumbs up' it still turned out as a middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 1

By tinyhuman - 26/07/2017 07:32

Today, I work in a popular retail store. Our fitting rooms are locked to prevent theft so customers have to ask an employee to unlock a room first. An older lady today said "Oh! There you are. You need to grow so I can see you!" I'm almost 20 and 4'11". I'm not going to grow anymore. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 8

By Stillacosplayer - 23/07/2017 14:23

Today, after months of working on the list of lifestyle changes my ex told me I needed to work on in order for her to take me back, we finally meet up for coffee. She told me, "Your progress is great, but I really just can't date cosplayers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By HappyItalian - 20/07/2017 10:52

Today, I was all set and ready to get some sleep before a double shift starting in the early morning, where I'll be training someone at a very demanding job. I let my dog out to pee quickly and, of course, she picks this morning to attack a skunk and get sprayed. Looks like no sleep for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 9

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The Top

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 2 678

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 788

You deserved it 3 933

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 3 205

Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He strongly believes in "first impressions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 362

You deserved it 6 759

Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 81

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 138