Anonymous · 4 November 2024, 22:00 ·Baia Mare, Romania 🌶️ Spicy

Marital bliss

Today, my wife admitted she's upset with me because she can see I'm unhappy in our marriage. We've been married for over two months and we still haven't had penetrative sex because she's scared of the pain. I cook and care for the house alone (I work remotely), I make 6 times as much money as her, but she's mad I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708 You deserved it 230

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Anonymous · 28 October 2024, 15:00 ·Balwyn North, Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Satisfaction

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 23 October 2024, 09:00 ·Munich, Germany 🌶️ Spicy

I've got a lot going on

Today, I, a fucking international student who's been here for like two weeks, ditched the end of a lecture because I had to get off in the men's bathroom, after being degraded by an ex who hates me. Instead of moving up in life, I do this stupid shit because I like being treated like entertaining garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 696

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Anonymous · 22 October 2024, 18:00 ·Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Not sure what's going on here, but…

Today, I'm 58 years-old, and the 40 year-old woman I'm sleeping with is so tight that she "spits me out" every time she has an orgasm. I have to work it back in at least 5 times every time we get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 537

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Anonymous · 20 October 2024, 20:00 ·India

That's wild

Today, a colleague was telling me she still breastfeeds her 4 year-old son, and that she has breastfed kids of her neighbours too. She kept talking about it and I ended up staring at her ample breasts. She noticed and asked me if I wanted too. Now I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417 You deserved it 299

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Anonymous · 17 October 2024, 14:00 ·San Diego, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Good question

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 544 You deserved it 139

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Anonymous · 16 October 2024, 16:00 ·Bhubaneswar, India 🌶️ Spicy

Snooping

Today, I was forced to use Egspy on my wife's iPhone. She is going out with a colleague in exchange for getting her promotion approved. I've never had any hints or doubts, but it seems she's having illicit relations with multiple colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 164

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Anonymous · 15 October 2024, 14:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Turned on… and off

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731 You deserved it 168

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Anonymous · 13 October 2024, 14:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Austerity measures

Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 159

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Anonymous · 9 October 2024, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Young love

Today, on our honeymoon, we’ve only had sex twice. Meanwhile, my husband has masturbated to porn at least once a day since we've got here, and it’s super obvious because he gets sleepy as hell after sex or a wank, while I’m left frustrated with nothing to do except watch Netflix and start drinking before noon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 199

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life of cuck, never good enough · 5 October 2024, 06:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Unsettling

Today, not only have I been cheated on in every relationship until where I am right now, I learned my current wife is fucking a guy 15 years younger than us. When we were both his age and post-grad, she turned me down several times. She didn't give me a chance until five years ago when she "wanted to settle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 574 You deserved it 229

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Honky

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 547 You deserved it 5 257

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Anonymous · 2 October 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

QC issue

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 513

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sad_unicorn · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff ·Yagoona, Australia 🌶️ Spicy

The Intruder

Today, I have to close my bedroom door with a bucket because I don't have a door latch thanks to previous owners. When my partner and I were going at it, we had to stop because the cat kept reaching around the door, trying to attack the bucket and destroying the mood. Cat 1 - Humans 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 283 You deserved it 1 205

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Anonymous · 25 September 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Soft as snow

Today, I discovered why my new boyfriend likes his sex slow and loving, like super slow. It’s because, despite being in shape, he’s so unfit that if he tries to go hard and fast he struggles to breathe and passes out on top of me. Guess my love life is limited to one mile an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 214

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Anonymous · 24 September 2024, 12:00 ·India 🌶️ Spicy

Sidelined

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with an old friend from college, who has totally turned into a hot MILF after marriage. Of course the date was pre-planned with some steamy sex at my place. However, last night her husband found out about her affair with her neighbour and now she can’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 919

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Dan · 22 September 2024, 20:00 ·Ann Arbor, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Isn't that, like, a crime?

Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 941

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Anonymous · 17 September 2024, 12:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

So frustrating!

Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 You deserved it 2 006

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Liav · This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff 🌶️ Spicy

News to me

Today, I took my "girlfriend" to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first month anniversary, only to find out she didn't even know we're dating, but only "friends who have sex sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 361 You deserved it 1 968

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Anonymous · 8 September 2024, 20:00 ·Truckee, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Wait until she's left the room at least!

Today, I messed up by forgetting that reflections on glasses can make a private experience VERY public. I only this realized after my mom asked what I was looking at; she definitely saw a lot more dick than she would have liked. I feel like such a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 553

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Anonymous · 7 September 2024, 22:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Happy birthday

Today, for my birthday, I'd told my boyfriend I wanted a full day in bed with Netflix, champagne, frequent sex, and a takeaway pizza at teatime. He managed sex twice 4 hours apart, kept falling asleep watching Netflix, drank too much, and threw up his pizza all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614 You deserved it 330

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Anonymous · 4 September 2024, 20:00 ·Borken, Germany 🌶️ Spicy

You'll miss me when I'm gone

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend. I did my best to get him hard, and as always, I succeeded, but he still didn’t bother to look up from his phone. Unfortunately this happens almost every time I try to have sex with him. I guess TikTok is more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 3 September 2024, 14:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Living his best life

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499 You deserved it 339

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Anonymous · 1 September 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Zinger

Today, we had the police called on us for our loud sex noises. This led to my boyfriend making the joke that he’s so good at sex “even the police came.” It was funny at the time, but less funny when he told our friends. Even though I told him to stop, he keeps telling people, and it's pissing me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 301

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Chad · 30 August 2024, 14:00 ·Belgium 🌶️ Spicy

Crime is not a crime

Today, I invited a guy over for some quick fun. I had the TV on for some background noise. I couldn't see the TV the way I was facing but he could. I didn't realize until he left that I had a true crime series on the whole time. What bothers me the most is that he definitely wasn't turned off by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 You deserved it 540

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Anonymous · 27 August 2024, 14:00 ·Richmond Hill, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

In the mood

Today, it's been awhile since I've had decent sex. I was "in the mood" after being sick for two weeks, so I pulled out my little "bedroom friend." Right on the verge of a really big O, I spotted a giant spider about 3 ft over my head, which completely killed my lady boner. Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 218

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fuckfuckfuckfuck · 24 August 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Fragile

Today, my wife asked if I wanted a threesome with her friend for my birthday. I couldn't tell if she was being sincere, or secretly testing me. I had such a bad panic attack that I passed out and went to the hospital. Oh, and she's mad at me now for "getting excited at the prospect of cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 728 You deserved it 142

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eakthegeek · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Booktok

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 837 You deserved it 7 086

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Anonymous · 21 August 2024, 16:00 ·Germany 🌶️ Spicy

In the mood for love

Today, I told my man that I would love to have sex, provided that he helped me “warm up” enough to actually be able to enjoy it. His reply? "Well, never mind, if you’re not in the mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 518 You deserved it 204

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Anonymous · 19 August 2024, 14:00 ·Maryland Heights, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Be careful what you fantasize for

Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy who works with me, and for whom I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until, in the heat of the moment, my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 You deserved it 2 383

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