Today, I found out that my husband is an undercover crypto/NFT dipshit. I found this out when I looked at our joint account to find he had transferred a hell of a lot of actual money to some sort of BTC account with a dumb name. He now claims it's "the future", and I just "don't understand." FML
Today, my boss found out that I have a second job in a similar industry and tried to fire me for disloyalty, industrialist espionage, theft of intellectual property, you name it. I need a second job because he pays peanuts, and it’s a specialised skill set so I got a similar job just for convenience. FML
Today, I was tasked with taking a photo of my best friend getting engaged. As her boyfriend got down on one knee, I got so nervous that I fumbled the camera. It landed right in the lake. I didn’t get a single picture, and now I owe them a new Canon EOS R10. FML
Today, my brother lost his flat and is sleeping on our sofa. He’s also unemployed so my husband is getting increasingly angry at him freeloading. To make it up to him, I made his favourite pudding, Angel Delight. He just walked in and caught my brother eating it right out of the fridge. FML
Today, and for the past 2 years, my aunt has owed me money. She just admitted that she fell for a scam, and gave the scammer more than double the amount I'd loaned her. I felt bad for her… until I realized something. When I asked how she had it to give to them, but not to pay me back, she got mad and hung up on me. FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, after I ordered a pair of "one size fits all" leggings from a sketchy online store, they arrived. I eagerly tried them on only to discover they fit… but only one leg. Now, I’m stuck with what looks like a bizarre spandex leg warmer. The company doesn’t accept returns. FML
Today, my brat daughter got pissed that I didn't spend "enough" money on her Sweet Sixteen party. She threw a tantrum and told my husband about my affair. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, it's one of the many monotonous days I have endured in this damn third world country after I found out that my dad had cancer and we moved here for his treatment. My skin condition has spread all over my body from the stress, so I constantly feel absolutely repulsed by my own reflection. FML
Today, I found $20 under my car seat, so I put it in the cup holder, only for it to fly out of the window while going down the highway. FML
Today, I got an email from a local company looking to have a website made. I looked over their request and provided them with a reasonable offer. I got an email back stating that they would like to pay me with liquor instead of money. FML
Today, my boyfriend send me a text to inform me that his mother had told him that I was only with him for his money, which he got from his dad's will… even though we were already together at the time. FML
Today, I DoorDashed after work to make money for gas because I spent all my money on test prep. My tank is almost empty but I made enough to buy a full tank to get me to work. Turns out the DoorDash card does not work at the pump and I have to wait a week for it to deposit. I'm currently counting coins. I get paid monthly. FML
Today, I wanted to print out a 100-page game strategy guide using company's printer. While not wanting anyone to find out about this, I picked a time when I thought no one would be printing. My CEO ended up standing next to me for 10 minutes, waiting for his stuff to print after mine. FML
Today, I wish there were easier ways to make money online. I can’t bring myself to do OnlyFans or things of that nature, but I’m getting desperate. My mother only helps my male sibling, as I should just have all my shit together because I’m a woman. I don't know what the fuck to do. I’m in a workers' compensation case with no pay. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML
Today, I lost my wallet while out shopping. Panicked, I retraced my steps and found it at a store, turned in by an employee. Grateful, I opened it to find a note that read, "We left the money but took one dollar for karma." I checked. They did actually take one dollar. FML
Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML
Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML
Today, after leaving one job, reducing my hours at another, completing all the onboarding requirements for a nursing home, and dealing with serious anxiety, I was told they don’t have hours available for me and don’t know when they will. I got laid off before even starting. FML
Today, my husband is upset that I refuse to sign off on a loan for $10k for an experimental surgery on his 11 year-old chronically ill dog. It will ultimately put more trauma on the poor creature, but he refuses to listen or let go. Not to mention the kids and mortgage. FML
Today, I found out I will possibly not be able to take my RCM 10 because one song doesn’t qualify. I have worked towards it for 3 years. I then got harassed on the subway. Then I fell for the taxi cab scam by a 12 year-old out of stress and had to cancel my credit card. Oh, and I have a test at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. FML
Today, my "self-schedule" job changed my schedule so I work every Wednesday. My boyfriend lives 3 hours away and this is the only day he has off from his jobs. Also, my previously approved PTO for his birthday, which I spent $1k non-refundable on, was cancelled. So now I'm out the money because I have to work or be fired. FML
Today, I love my parents, but I'm culturally obliged to support them. However, I always feel sad because I can't purchase and pursue what I want, because my finances will suffer. I feel like I cannot enjoy my life to the fullest. They think I have money all the time. FML
Today, to save money, my wife decided, among other things, to make her own butter. It required cream bought fresh from a nearby farm and a lot of hand churning. I worked it out: by the time all the cream became butter, it was 4 times more expensive than Asda butter, expires faster, and tastes worse FML
Today, my mom proved to me that there was favoritism between me and my siblings. My mom made me use my money to buy everyone dinner, but when my brother wanted to buy himself food, my mom asked him if he was gonna buy me and our sister some too, he said, "No, I don’t want to" and she said, "That’s fine." FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, to save money on our vacation, we got a single room with double beds. What a mistake that was. Thanks to our dad's OCD need to stick to his schedule, he got us up at 6 every morning, we had to be in bed by 9:30PM and absolutely no relaxing by the pool, because “we got things to do.” FML
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