PurrpleDinosaur

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Madison, Wisconsin, United States, United States
29 years-old
Wednesday 24 April 1996
single

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Purrpledinosaur's favorite FMLs

By wtf is wrong with my country - 08/05/2012 17:57 - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

agreeclassic 36 274

vote type 1 3 627

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

agreeclassic 35 446

vote type 1 2 982

By authorsubmit - 04/05/2012 12:49 - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

agreeclassic 15 868

vote type 1 47 688

Puppy training

By doggone - 05/05/2012 23:07 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

agreeclassic 21 009

vote type 1 34 961

Peckish

By Bontempi - 19/07/2012 18:55 - France

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

agreeclassic 13 641

vote type 1 42 736