doubled01

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Doubled01's favorite FMLs

By deli Shoppe - 27/06/2012 04:39 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 387

You deserved it 38 713

By moodyreallyrocks - 09/07/2012 00:30 - United States - Mayfield

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 964

You deserved it 2 943

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 944

You deserved it 4 930

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 792

You deserved it 1 960

By yonanon - 31/08/2012 12:02 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 915

You deserved it 3 130

By wow kid just leave me alone - 15/09/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 684

You deserved it 3 720

Lost

By Anna - 02/10/2012 17:37 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 071

You deserved it 4 442

By RedFox12 - 28/10/2012 00:12 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 250

You deserved it 27 667

RedFox12 tells us more.

RedFox12 7

Tuesday 30 October 2012 5:58

I wrote this. My head is fine and the girl doesn't think I'm an idiot or anything. It was just a funny/embarrassing thing that happened. I'm just surprised I actually got something published on here :D

By foreveralone - 13/11/2012 10:23 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 895

You deserved it 34 447

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 10:41 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 248

You deserved it 1 922

By futuregigolo - 22/12/2012 00:11 - United States - Strasburg

Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 7 683

By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 04:31 - United States

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 202

You deserved it 4 485

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 775

You deserved it 18 703

By dab1230 - 07/02/2013 00:26 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 788

You deserved it 42 668

By IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - 13/02/2013 04:57 - United States - Stillwater

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 909

You deserved it 6 141

Introvert life

By CaBur - 19/02/2013 22:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 362

You deserved it 27 147

By Maxie - 08/03/2013 01:55 - United States - Chesterland

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 780

You deserved it 2 568

By guy - 15/03/2013 05:31 - Canada - Port Coquitlam

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 814

You deserved it 3 366

Thievery

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 329

You deserved it 4 076

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 16:35 - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because he says I need to learn how to be happy without relying on him. I'm not a clinger, I'm just unhappy because my dad recently passed away, my best friend turned on me, and I lost out on the exchange program of my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 297

You deserved it 4 124