elphiexfae

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Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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The return of the thumb

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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YDI Master

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One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find

Elphiexfae's favorite FMLs

By sabz21 - 27/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Naugatuck

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 166

You deserved it 14 293

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 08:30 - Australia

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 507

You deserved it 44 229

By Catuser - 06/03/2014 03:09 - United States - Bracey

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 55 473

Catuser tells us more.

Catuser 14

Saturday 8 March 2014 6:09

This is the follow up: My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!

Technically Spanish

By LeChameauTrisomique - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Saint-germain-de-la-grange

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I started to panic. My teacher suggested that I should say whatever popped into my head. I blurted out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 200

You deserved it 9 171

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 715

You deserved it 4 018

By shylahrc - 03/05/2014 23:51 - United States

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 198

You deserved it 3 539

Let down

By Anonymous - 14/05/2014 15:54 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 649

You deserved it 7 406

That one weird kid

By Laura - 27/05/2014 15:58 - United States

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stays away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling, "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 470

You deserved it 4 148

By FMyBrain - 06/06/2014 21:26 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 535

You deserved it 6 049

By ldrik1 - 11/06/2014 20:36 - United States - Syracuse

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 247

You deserved it 4 816

Animal sanctuary

By Anonymous - 12/06/2014 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "The gecko ate my pen drive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 681

You deserved it 4 906

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 803

You deserved it 6 159

By blackchin III - 20/06/2014 21:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 706

You deserved it 4 683

By beccadabeast - 30/06/2014 06:44 - United States - Mesa

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 280

You deserved it 11 529

Bedlam

By Snow-White - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat, and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 002

You deserved it 19 394

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 4 801

By Stop_HammerTime - 04/08/2014 13:51 - United Kingdom - Northwich

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 6 346

Stop_HammerTime tells us more.

Stop_HammerTime 4

Monday 4 August 2014 20:38

The truth is actually much dumber than some of you are giving me credit for, and definitely warrants a YDI. I'd bought a few small glass things for my friends from Venice. They were all packaged so they made it off the plane fine. When I got home I put them down and started nailing up posters that I'd got in the museums on my visit. I put the hammer down on a pile of boxes while I went to get more nails, which was dumb, and it fell off onto the ornaments. The novelty postcards were all I had left.

By jackie89 - 10/08/2014 19:26 - United Kingdom - Redruth

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 640

You deserved it 7 473

By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 149

You deserved it 3 746

The sounds of Spring

By Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Houston

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 694

You deserved it 3 811