jnh16033

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Jnh16033's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 26/02/2009 15:30 - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

agreeclassic 86 135

vote type 1 476 298

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

agreeclassic 55 058

vote type 1 2 721

By dumbo - 30/07/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. Twenty minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

agreeclassic 63 890

vote type 1 18 925

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

agreeclassic 25 517

vote type 1 59 461

Whodunnit

By emily - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cellphone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

agreeclassic 44 421

vote type 1 4 365