LifeSurvivor

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Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

42

See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The list of badges to find

Lifesurvivor's favorite FMLs

All you need is hate

By neversayhiagain - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 168

You deserved it 2 918

By bilol - 27/02/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any European guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 998

You deserved it 6 921

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 673

You deserved it 43 860

By cancerfreak - 21/03/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 635

You deserved it 8 397

Classic

By rejected - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said, "Well, you could always ask me." I then said, "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was, "Nope… now that's 8!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 675

You deserved it 28 984

First date from hell

By lizzardbreath - 31/03/2009 10:44 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire, so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brother's wedding, and introduced me as "The One" to his entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 953

You deserved it 7 961

Judge not lest you be judged, my friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 050

You deserved it 20 006

By hannah - 14/04/2013 15:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355 163

You deserved it 37 888

hannah321 tells us more.

hannah321 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 3:58

hi, i'm the girl who wrote this originally (i've since got an account so changed my name- maybe some people won't believe that but whatever) and i just want to say in response to some people that it was VERY clear on both sides that we were a couple, we were not friends with privileges.. also i am not a stalker, i just wanted to specify exactly how long we'd been together because it emphasises just how shitty what he did was.. like someone else said, a year doesn't really explain that fully. maybe he was using me for sex and i was practise, but i'm not as young or naive as some people here seem to think... this isn't my first relationship, but it was my first really serious one hence meeting parents, having sex etc etc.. i thought what i felt towards him was mutual, and i think if many of you had known us as a couple you would be very surprised about what has happened, most people were always commenting on how much he seemed to adore me. right now i have no idea what his motivations were, but everytime i speak to him i want to stab him.. so im refraining from speaking to him or seeking an explanation at the minute SO thanks to everyone who's been supportive, **** knows what his problem is but im getting over it seeing as he's been such a dick to me, and i just posted him this link, so any extra abuse toward him would be welcome.. ha