The Top

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I was right there

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 12:00

Today, I called a Lyft to go to work. I got dressed and even watched him finish his previous ride. We all know you have a 5 minutes window. It wasn’t even 5 minutes in when he cancelled my ride. Now I’m late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 337

The art, the artist

By WarriorMa - 16/04/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 205

**** my shit up

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 04:00

Today, I got a haircut and it was messed up for the fifth time in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 187

Fonzie

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was in a crowded elevator and tried to discreetly take a breath mint. The little tin slipped from my hands, bounced off my shoe, and scattered mints everywhere. Everyone stared as I bent over, frantically picking them up, muttering, “I swear I’m usually cool.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 301

Garden wars

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s house and mine share the same garden. After I complained about an ugly compost bin she had outside my bedroom window, she finally took it away and put it… smack dab in front of my terrace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 166

Rich

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 12:00

Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 116

Naughty boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 14:00

Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 137

Fuzzy logic

By Lisa - 22/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 94

Policy of truth

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 03:00

Today, I spent some time talking to a girl I'm interested in. All signs point to a "no" if I asked her out, but the repeated shifts between chatting like we're the only people on Earth, to feeling like she doesn't know I exist when I randomly experience radio silence, is an emotional rollercoaster I'd like to end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 173

Insane rules

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 125

Never buy new cars

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Barberton

Today, I took a sharp turn and hit a pillar and damaged my car's back door. I don't know how much it will cost and if I'll be able to afford it. Should I also mention that the car is 3 months old? FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 925

On eggshells

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 650

i'm still a human being

By ;-; - 29/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I took my hoodie off in public and my shirt accidentally lifted up with it. I've had bad skin problems since I was 12 or 13, and my chest looks horrific as a result. Everyone in my vicinity reacted with horror and called me all sorts of awful names. Nice to know that my appearance makes me that repulsive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 122

New tricks

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 20:00

Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 275

Glue ear

By I can't hear you! - 14/12/2022 09:00

Today, I found out that my waking up every morning with my ear being ridiculously plugged is actually an ear infection. How did I not know? It's simple: my ears generate enough wax to make an entire fucking candle, so I assumed they were just building up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 145

Framed

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, I tried joining a Roblox game, only to discover I was banned. According to the game's creator, it was because I'd exploited on an alt. The alt was an account intentionally impersonating me in order to frame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 117

None taken

By Sorry, guys - 13/11/2025 20:00

Today, it’s officially been 37 days since my fiance has seen me naked and longer than that since he’s tried to give me an orgasm. I’ve lost track of how long it’s been. I don’t want to end up like the people on here talking about sexless marriages for years and decades before we’re even married. No offense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 103

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 123

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 18:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 154

Sometimes loving is the hardest thing

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 03:00 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I just had to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, who I've been friends with for the past 12 years. She chased me in high school and we dated before for almost 2 years, but now I finally see what I should have: She's still in love her ex, who abandoned her 5 years ago. I've been living in another man's shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 139

Hoarder

By Anonymous - 19/11/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend came home with a Labubu. Yesterday she received two Labubus in the mail. She spent the last weekend looking at, and "researching" Labubus. There's Labubus everywhere in our apartment. I fucking hate Labubus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 96

The pros and cons

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was emailed an update on the jobs I applied for. Every single one of the positions have closed except for one that I'm having second thoughts about, because looking around Google showed them to be VERY sketchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

Not worth our time

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 16:00

Today, my grandparents told me they couldn't make it to my college graduation, even with months in advance to plan, because they had their annual Mother's Day plans with friends. Plans they've had every year, and are further away. This was the only time I'll ever have a graduation ceremony. My grandpa is my last biological grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 168

Overly attached FWB

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my friends-with-benefits asked me if the girl who just added me on Facebook and Instagram is someone new I’m talking to, all within hours of this new friend adding me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 419

Sorry Mom

By daniel - 24/11/2025 22:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a dick pic. I should have realized that "Morgan" is right next to "Mom" in my contacts list. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 402

By Anonynonynon - 13/02/2015 19:05 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 828

You deserved it 2 461

Indeed

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was deleting old contacts on WhatsApp of people I no longer talk to. Later, when I was very tired and was about to go to bed, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying love you and goodnight. It turns out it was actually my ex. Awkward! FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 437

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 131

Mixology

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 345

Early Christmas party

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 20:00

Today, I apologised to my colleagues on Teams for leaving the Christmas party early. The only responses were that they didn’t realise I was actually there, or didn’t even know who I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 73

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 389

You deserved it 3 531

Today, I guess my son's balls dropped. I've caught him humping his sister's Selena Gomez posters several times today. For god's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 786

You deserved it 1 930

Today, I spent 3 hours looking for a roll of tape. I didn't find the tape. I still need the tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 340

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 556

You deserved it 6 934

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 761

You deserved it 1 655

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 019

You deserved it 10 306