Today, a woman shouted at me to give up my disabled seat on the bus because she wanted to sit down. She wasn't physically disabled, wasn't nearly old enough to need it, and the bus was half empty anyway. I guess my prosthetic leg doesn't entitle me to a priority seat. FML
I can't stand leg puns! tells us more.
Hi all! OP here! So, to start off, thanks for all the support (and sorry for firing off last time!). To the one or two of you who think I should be able to stand, first: the disabled seating is there for a reason; second: when you're standing on the bus you use your toes to help you balance a bit, and if you can't move toes on one leg it's a bit difficult. Third: My leg's basically a metal pole with a foot on the end, it's not one of the fully realistic ones, and I was wearing shorts so it was kinda obvious. Next, to those saying she may have been disabled in her own way: Unless she was severely mentally disabled, she still didn't need to shout at me, and I know her locally, she's just a bit of a bitch. Also there was only like 2 other people on the bus, and about 6 free disabled seats, she just wanted MY seat. And yes I realise I post a lot of stuff, life sucks haha. It isn't as consistent as my posting makes it appear, some of these stories happened a while ago, but how many FMLs actually happened that day? I'll try and think of another for you guys next week hahaha. And to whoever said I need my own section on FML, I won't complain hahaha. Thanks for reading the rant, see ya!
Today, I found out why the rent is so cheap in my new house. Apparently the previous tenants violated their lease by keeping illegal exotic pets. They responded to fines and eviction by letting all the animals loose in the basement, like the (admittedly gorgeous) albino cobra I found curled on my laundry. FML
AkaiKitsune tells us more.
AkaiKitsune 32
Yeah, it's not the only little friend I've found. And considering that when I took the snake to a reptile handler who knew a vet for venomous snakes because it was pretty and I had noticed some scaring, it turned out that the snake had the venom glands removed (improperly and likely illegally) So I really don't think they gave a damn about their animals at all. Yeah, I've found a few dead scorpions, mostly those black emperor scorpions anyone can get in a pet store. A few more interesting snakes and a couple harmless but interesting colour mutations of ball pythons. A couple of them were literally tied in a bag and just left there. Presumably they survived by eating each other. Aside from a rattlesnake and some weird ass snake that seemed to make a ton of noise by rubbing it's scales together nothing really spectacular. Glad I have a friend who's snake obsessed who introduced me to a guy who handles dangerous snakes because I was more interested in the kind of snake that can kill you rather then the pet store variety. I point them out and he takes care of it.
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my boss's words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML
Today, I arrived for the holiday across the world that I spent my entire savings from working during college on. I had a slight sore throat, and couldn't manage to equalise my right ear, aborting all my scuba dives. There goes $500 and my dream of being a scuba instructor. FML
Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in Seventeen Magazine. They were in the "What not to wear" category. FML
Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, one of my classmates asked the teacher to postpone her presentation because she had to study and the teacher happily agreed. When I approached her, the teacher started yelling at me because postponing deadlines is irresponsible. I just wanted to make sure we didn't need to bring our book. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML
Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to get ready for a "fun work retreat". After driving 2 hours to the site, I find that nobody's there. After about half an hour standing there freezing, I get an email from my boss, telling me that, "It's canceled due to bad weather." FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, while on the skytrain, a woman leaned on the railing bar that I was holding onto, crushing my hand. My first instinct was to move my hand when she turned around and began loudly yelling at me for, "Touching her waist" and "Sexually harassing" her. FML
Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML
Today, I have a huge crush on my best friend who views me as his little sister. My coworker found out and has since been making incest jokes. FML
millie_marie tells us more.
OP here! I felt like I should probably clear a few things up. He's been my best friend since we met first semester of college, and we tell each other everything. Our relationship has ALWAYS been brother/sister, but we went to a late showing of Suicide Squad over the weekend and he slept at my house since it was almost one in the morning when the movie ended. And we both cuddle with the person in bed with us, and I realized I must have been catching feelings for a while because I really wanted more than that. He's interested in someone else (again, we tell each other everything), so I know nothing's going to come of that. As for my coworker, someone said to let him know what he's doing is harassment, but he and I joke with each other all the time. We work at a place where if we all don't joke around and make fun of each other, we'd go crazy trying to stay sane. He is an ass, but he'll stop eventually. It's just that it stings a bit now because he wasted no time when in the past he's waited until I'm out of my bad mood about the situation. Thanks for the support and jokes, guys. It made me feel a bit better (:
Today, I got into a minor car accident. No one got hurt, but the person that hit me was my father. Everyone thought he died 8 years ago. FML
Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML
Today, I went to 7-11, where the cashier asked me if I had the app to get rewards. She then looked at me and said, "Never mind, I can tell you don't." I guess I have no control over my resting bitch face. FML
Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, my dad congratulated me on having my first girl come over late at night and asked me to be quieter because he could hear us. I'm still single and it was probably me grunting and getting mad losing Plants vs Zombies. FML
papaedups tells us more.
papaedups 11
yeah he was proud I suppose that's why I haven't told him the truth tbh
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