Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Know your worth
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML
Top comments
hussamhasi 22
They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense
MDoremis 38
Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?
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Comments (135)
hussamhasi 22
They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense
friedpwnadge 25
Maybe OP's gf did it because she's a huge bitch who doesn't have the guts to take responsibility for her own actions.
DamnBailie 23
My sophomore year boyfriend dumped me because he saw "Signs of doom" in his poop.. People are so weird.
Murilirum 23
Be thankful you no longer have to deal with that #13. I don't even know how to comprehend someone telling me that for ANY reason whatsoever let alone a breakup.
DamnBailie 23
#29, it was so weird. He sent a photo and everything. But i agree. Im glad it didn't go any further.
hussamhasi 22
But one day u will think about it and will be happy that it ended like that , didint go any farther that what I feel now .
False_Stupidity 42
So, you were dumped because of a dump 13.... Makes sense.
MrConcise 35
So he's one of those poop enthusiasts? Never understood the people who take pictures of their shit and get excited about how it looks, must be from the positive reinforcement of potty training.
Afroman720 18
I've never been told a legitimate excuse when I've been dumped. Maybe I should stop dating inconsiderate, crazy, dumb girls. I'm moving on from the minor leagues!
Hildy93 21
#1 that could be a FML actually
flyingvagina 12
I remember voting for something like this on the moderation page, #94
MrConcise 35
#92 - I looked at your picture, saw your shadow with the afro, was gonna ask if you had one, remembered your username.
cupcakebruh 21
My first boyfriend broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him, I wasn't, but he'd been cheating on me for a few months. Not only that but he was cheating on me with my best friend..
SirEnigM0nk 22
Sounds like he was full of crap...otherwise how would he know about Signs of Doom?
Welshite 40
She may have found her calling as an animal psychic.
DamnBailie 23
Shes an animal psychotic*
MrSassypants 34
She could be the next Dr. Dolittle, or her dog just happens to be Wilfred.
psychopolarbear 28
If my dog told me to dump a guy, I'd take her advice XD I mean, let's be honest, my bitch would never do anything she didn't think would be beneficial to me…well, other than eating my pillow or peeing on the carpet >.> In all seriousness, I'm sorry for you, bud. Good luck finding a woman who isn't crazy haha
extinct_dodo 18
Well..... Shite!
Timpa70 18
Makes you question the phrase "Man's best friend".
Eyalsh 32
well, he got him to get rid of a crazy girlfriend! if that's not a friend, idk who is.
MDoremis 38
Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?
mds9986 24
What if dogs talk when humans aren't around and OPs girlfriend is the first person they are interacting with? I bet you never considered that.
Eyalsh 32
yeah, let's also start treating dr.dolittle as a documentary :D
AurumPotestasEst 16
She sounds like the Son of Sam...
xsmith 6
Is that really a lose then?
golferman72 16
I guess old dogs can learn new tricks
whassallt26 13
Maybe he did, where's the proof he didn't.
Xandrick 22
Where's the proof he did?
Indiecisiv 12
That's like asking for proof of God, you can't disprove it because it's all in their head, but at the same time you don't need to, because it's not hard to tell it's a crock of shit if you think about it.
DamnBailie 23
Sounds like you got off easy. I know its sad but now you can find someone slightly less crazy and who likes you. Give it time dear.
dragoongirl90 34
Just be happy that you're free of the nut job.
sarcasmwins 24
All the excuses under the sun and she has to use her dog. What a bitch move.
False_Stupidity 42
Nice pun. Shame others didn't see it, or didn't find it funny.