Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend by sending her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who'd delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my wife said that her cup of coffee was the best part of her week. We celebrated our nineteenth anniversary this week. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
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Top comments
fern559 13
in her defense cupcakes are good
Xelabasat 14
Next time give her a cream pie and see how she likes that
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Comments (33)
Xelabasat 14
Next time give her a cream pie and see how she likes that
ExtremeEncounter 32
Oh.
Lt_Senpai 21
Lewd.
fern559 13
in her defense cupcakes are good
veenarm 8
when people ask what the highlight of their day was they don't want to know if you had sex. everyone has it....
Leprekhaun 14
i dont :(
Moskaaa7 26
What if it was the boyfriend who asked her that?
cornyrob 33
Sometimes cupcakes are just better than sex. Don't take it personally. Just find out if she enjoys sex with you, and what could be improved.
chirstinap325 23
What kind of cupcake was it? If we're talking coffee flavor, id be worried. If it was red velvet then don't be too discouraged, kid ;)
BlameTheOwls 14
Sex is an every day event (or can be for some couples), cupcakes are not!
Jaelkus 28
Were you trying something new or exciting? If not then most sex isn't top 5
p0ssessi0nX 10
An excellent cupcake beats sex any day. Cupcakes are less messy than sex, so there's that too.
chirstinap325 23
I'd say that's debatable, depending on how good the cupcake is or how hungry you are :)
cootiequeen4444 11
Maybe I just eat like a wild animal, but I find...combining the crumb and icing factors, cupcakes can be pretty messy. And in the end, it's like wow I'm a slob rather than after sex where it's like well I guess this is an acceptable state of messiness. Also sex apparently burns calories. Show me a cupcake that does that and I'll be there in 5 minutes!
TaoShaman 24
Definitely. Not everyone finds sex to be this amazing thing. Not everyone even has it or wants it. Cupcakes are awesome though.
RichardPencil 32
Your sex didn't beat a grocery store cupcake? Damn! Now, an artisanal bakery cupcake could provide stiff competition. Can you give her better frosting?
ThrottleJockey 36
I believe OP is the one providing stiff competition.
Fernan510 14
And the fail is...? I honestly see nothing wrong with that. Even so, you don't just go around telling everyone you had sex unless you are in middle school or something... relax.
chirstinap325 23
Don't tell me how to live my life lmao :)
Moerighan 23
Girl has her priorities straight.