Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
daidax_238 26
I guess you could say urine a bad situation! ...I regret nothing
OnAMission 5
I'd be pissed if I were in the room when it happened...
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Comments (33)
daidax_238 26
I guess you could say urine a bad situation! ...I regret nothing
OnAMission 5
I'd be pissed if I were in the room when it happened...
Moskaaa7 26
Next time, pee on him to show dominance.
TrentJ 12
Honestly make him do all of your laundry for a month. FYL
Colon_Man 17
I know people who do similar stuff, but I have never been that lit that I'd even come close. I guess I'm not as hard core of a drinker as they are.
sazarra 14
You're not as stupid as they are. If you're at the point where you're peeing on clothes in the middle of the night, you shouldn't be drinking anyway.
abbyade 21
That is funny but still not very cool. You need to have a proper discussion with him regarding his alcohol limits. He shouldn't drink to the point of not knowing were the toilet is. It isn't good for his health anyway.
Yarecho 14
He didn't break anything though right?
jcash52426 5
Sorry honey net time I'll pee on the dirty laundry
GhostFox 34
Sounds like someone is quite possibly an alcoholic...
Mechanize 8
Not really. If he was, OP probably would've mentioned that somewhere. Just because you get hammered occasionally doesn't mean your an alcoholic.
GhostFox 34
Err.... You don't understand how alcoholism works, do you? Binge alcoholism is a type of alcoholism where the person doesn't usually drink, but when they do, they do so in excess to the degree that it is harmful to their body or otherwise dangerous. OP's husband, who apparently has a history of getting "smashed" and also did so despite promising he wouldn't, fits the profile of a binge drinker. The other main type is the type of alcoholic who drink alcohol in smaller amounts in a sitting, but drink it more often. These types of people tend to have the urge to drink during certain activities or times of the day. There are also alcoholics who combine symptoms and traits of the two. Think before you spread misinformation.
intreker05 5
However, the fact that he said he wasn't going to get hammered and then proceeded to get so wasted that he peed all over the bedroom indicates that he has little control over his drinking behavior which is a sign of alcoholism.
Migole 36
I have never in my life been so drunk that I thought it would be a good idea to pee on the floor (I guess I would black out first). I really don't get why people 1.) chose to get this drunk after the age of 20 and 2.) can't control their behavior to the point that they do shit like this. I really hope your husband apologized for an hour the next day and cleaned everything spotless. Otherwise that marriage is in serious trouble.
domolovesyoshi 33
Exactly it always shocks me how people can't tell what there limit is.