Frustrated wife · 9 November 2026, 12:00 ·Lynchburg, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Get it on!

Today, I tried to explain to my husband how it felt when he asked for sex. I said ,"How would you feel if I asked for sex when you were fixing the car, and I hadn't dressed nicely, shaved, cleaned myself up, or showered?" He said, "I'd fuck you right there in the garage, duh!" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 8 November 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Off limits

Today, I got my first girlfriend, so I told my mother that I would tell her all about her, except about our sex life, which is strictly off limits. That’s when the screaming started. God, I love having an autistic mother who only has screaming episodes when people don't answer her questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 26

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Please touch me · 8 November 2026, 12:00 ·Amsterdam, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Do it again

Today, it's been two weeks since my husband and I argued and I told him to stop groping me every chance he got. He hasn't touched me since, and I never realized how much I secretly liked when he smacked my butt or grabbed my boobs out of the blue. I don't know how to ask for him to start again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 You deserved it 182

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Big boy

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 165 You deserved it 6 847

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Kelsguuurl · 3 November 2026, 20:00 ·Mexico City, Mexico 🌶️ Spicy

Looney tunes

Today, my mom caught me trying auto-erotic asphyxiation and now I'm on another grippy socks vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 You deserved it 192

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Anonymous · 29 October 2026, 03:00 ·Port Washington, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Hard pass on the birthday celebrations

Today, after I asked a girl out on her birthday and she said yes, I went to her place early in the next morning to give her her favorite bagels. I went to her room to surprise her after her roommate let me in, only to see her blowing some dude's candle, if you know what I mean. I don't thing I'll be taking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215 You deserved it 92

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John · 26 October 2026, 22:00 ·Poland 🌶️ Spicy

And the boner?

Today, I've been blessed with a great girlfriend who initiates sex often, but then during the act just lays there looking uninterested while I do all the work. Looking at her bored expression makes me lose all the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 25 October 2026, 12:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Cheating season

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend has been banging half the cast we made friends with at the traveling renaissance festival. I thought they were just being nice by gifting us season passes and random activities. I guess she was paying them in other ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223 You deserved it 65

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Anonymous · 24 October 2026, 22:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Grey rocking

Today, my disowned son begged that he wanted to reconcile but I said no way, so he proceeded to blast me on social media. He conveniently left out the part where he slept with my now ex-wife, his stepmother, which is why I disowned his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239 You deserved it 61

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Anonymous · 22 October 2026, 09:00 ·London, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Early warning

Today, in my 20s, I was so proud that I could squirt and that it tasted sweet, until a one-night-stand told me to get some blood tests. Long story short, I no longer have type 2 diabetes but my squirt tastes like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173 You deserved it 121

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Anonymous · 20 October 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Getting on a bit

Today, because of alopecia, I'm bald with no beard, but during sex my wife said that I’m finally showing my age. When I asked what she was on about, she yanked a hair out of my ballsack and said, “Look, your first grey hair!” She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207 You deserved it 56

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Anonymous · 19 October 2026, 09:00 ·Dallas, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Bad guy, duh

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, yet I'm somehow the bad guy because I refused to have makeup sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 18 October 2026, 12:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Manly man

Today, I think my new girlfriend has a “man cleaning the house” fetish because when she saw me doing laundry for the first time at her house, she thanked me, then did porno type stuff to me in the living room. She now keeps asking to watch me clean naked, which I don’t find sexy at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178 You deserved it 135

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Extra filthy, less fun · 17 October 2026, 22:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

No kinkshaming, but come on…

Today, I was doing some fun scat play with my boyfriend when the fire alarm went off. We both had to scramble into the shower to rinse off, clogged the drain, and left dirty footprints all over the apartment. Then we forgot to turn the shower off and came back to a flood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 371

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Anonymous · 17 October 2026, 09:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Protip for assholes

Today, after I hooked up with this cute guy, the fire alarm went off. I dashed outside, still mostly naked, only to find the alarm was coming from his phone as he slammed the door behind me. There was no fire, he just wanted me gone after the sex was over so he faked the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256 You deserved it 92

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Horny girl · 14 October 2026, 15:00 ·New York, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Russian roulette

Today, my ex was fucking me, tossing me on his bed and pulling my clothes off. I can't resist sex, but I whimpered, "I'm ovulating…" It seemed to turn him on more. I hope to god I don't get pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 You deserved it 398

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Anonymous · 14 October 2026, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Scheduled

Today, me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for so long that we have gone from, “Yay, sex everyday!” to “Damn, the schedule says we need to have sex again.” We don’t even really undress anymore, we just move clothes aside so the appropriate body parts are exposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 90

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Just slow · 13 October 2026, 22:00 ·Naaldwijk, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Slow learner

Today, my ex casually mentioned that, during our relationship, she started stupid fights over nothing, hoping I would lose my temper and angry-fuck her. She added, "Most guys figure that out pretty quick, I guess you're just slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 225 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 12 October 2026, 09:00 ·Riverside, United States 🌶️ Spicy

No returns

Today, I got the craziest DM ever: A woman rambled on for several paragraphs, stating that it’s my fault she and her husband can’t conceive because years ago I “stole” his virginity and introduced a life of “sin” that’s now being taken out on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215 You deserved it 64

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Kylaisnefarious · 10 October 2026, 20:00 ·Brewer, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Top tip

Today, my boyfriend made me cut a hole into the crotch of my pants so that he could discreetly fuck me in the room next to his mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 253

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Anonymous · 10 October 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Gambling is way too risky

Today, after an argument, my husband bet he could go longer without sex than me, since he’s used to me turning him down for weeks at a time, it’s now been a month, and all I want to do is rub against him like a cat, while he’s walking around completely unbothered. He even ignores me when I’m naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 You deserved it 424

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Bullshit! · 9 October 2026, 22:00 ·Romania 🌶️ Spicy

Can't get no satisfaction

Today, when my wife is ovulating, she is wild, horny, and nearly insatiable. So of course for the last four months, our work schedules have overlapped to give us absolutely no free time together during that magical week. I just got my next few weeks of schedule… and make that five months! FML

I agree, your life sucks 195 You deserved it 63

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Cuncked · 6 October 2026, 22:00 ·Virginia Beach, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Unc gets around

Today, I found out the 19 year-old girl I've been attracted to is fucking a 36 year-old unc (I'm 21). What is so wrong with me that she'd rather sleep with an unc than me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 255

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Marcus · 5 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Consent is key

Today, my girlfriend asked me to tie her up and spank her while fucking her and calling her a slut. But heaven forbid I later scream at her during an argument. She wailed and gave me the silent treatment, all because I raised my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 You deserved it 316

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Betrayed · 4 October 2026, 03:00 ·Seattle, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Everyone needs a hobby or two

Today, I was looking through my husband's phone and saw porn. I was so upset and immediately collapsed to the floor crying, feeling like I'd been punched. He called me a "giant drama queen" and said he needed the release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 You deserved it 1 049

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Anonymous · 2 October 2026, 12:00 ·Germany 🌶️ Spicy

Rumours

Today, I learned my ex-girlfriend has been going around to all of my friends and telling them that I wanted to fuck dead people. No wonder nobody has been talking to me for the past 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283 You deserved it 69

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Anonymous · 30 September 2026, 09:00 ·Lidingö, Sweden 🌶️ Spicy

What is this family?

Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 96

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Kyla · 27 September 2026, 03:00 ·Brewer, United States 🌶️ Spicy

A quick one

Today, before detention, me and my boyfriend snuck into the bathroom for a quickie. There were hall monitors camping outside for the next 30 minutes. We missed detention and never even got busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 You deserved it 372

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Anonymous · 26 September 2026, 22:00 ·Milwaukee, United States 🌶️ Spicy

I've got a lot on my mind

Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 21 September 2026, 09:00 ·Two Rivers, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Connection is all around me…

Today, after I made a connection with someone I used to know from school, I came to find out the whole time we were “solely seeing” each other, he was banging the bartender, and some fellow bar patrons at the same time as the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 94

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