ConfusedGinger
Downingtown, United States
Today, my dog pooped. In my lap. While I was driving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
StinkyDogs
United States
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
Mr Pippin
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
fUcKOAHdSAjl
Manchester, United States
Road rage
Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML
WellThatSucks
United States
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML
Debra2005
United States
Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML
grace
New York, United States
Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML
AD240Z
Surprise!
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
puppylove
United States
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
hadtocleanthemess
Canada
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Top comments
EbyKat 16
You're lucky the FML wasn't about how you watched your dogs body go flying through the windshield when you got in an accident. Buy a carrier FFS.
yojibby 11
That's why you don't drive with a dog in your lap
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Comments (33)
CaptainSmith28 19
Nope, too easy.
EbyKat 16
You're lucky the FML wasn't about how you watched your dogs body go flying through the windshield when you got in an accident. Buy a carrier FFS.
yojibby 11
That's why you don't drive with a dog in your lap
Rawrshi 25
You'd think this would be common sense considering crates, doggie seatbelts, and many other options exist to keep a dog secure in the car for a reason. It's also illegal in some places and worthy of a citation for distracted driving in others, so that's something to consider. Protect your doggos.
gichikku 14
Not only distracting but if it's able to crawl down to your feet it can cause you to not be able to brake.
nattlecakes 19
Sorry OP, but I think YDI. If your dog can't behave then it shouldn't be able to roam about the car and shit in your lap. Get a car safe kennel for the poor pup and let it go to the bathroom before you get in and drive.
EbyKat 16
The poop part could be the dog being sick, not misbehaving. Regardless a carrier or harness that is buckled in is important.
nattlecakes 19
This is true. Some dogs do get quite nervous or excited on car rides and it causes them to go. But a carrier def should have been in play here
framaram 9
Quite a bit of poop on FML tonight. Anyway, sucks that you doggo dumped on your lap. Sounds like you'll be cruising with the Windows down for a bit.
RichardPencil 32
Anyone find sentence. Fragments irritating? Evidently, your dog. Does.
AverageAvarice 23
The grammar used was more for dramatic effect, you don't always have to follow the rules. It was punctuated in the way it would be spoken and actually makes sense.
lexiieeex3 32
Why was your dog on your lap while you were driving? I reckon that would be a bit of a distraction, no?
sungrays 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My dog sits in my lap while I drive. It's never been an issue, but he's also very small and chill.
socialproduct 19
"Small and chill". It's like "Netflix and chill"... but for little people.
HadleyTCanine 15
#8, It'll be an issue when you dog gets crushed between you and the airbag.
Migole 36
@8: Then I wish you good luck when your dog goes flying through your windshield in case you ever have to brake hard. Also he can be as chill as can be, you never know he doesn't get startled someday by a loud noise etc. and jumps into your face on the highway.
Rose0Madder 14
On top of what everyone else has said, if you ever drive with your windows down, have fun when your dog jumps out of your car and gets hit by another car. Watched it happen on a highway.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Your driving is so bad it literally scared the crap out of your dog!
LyricaSilvan 30
That sort of of thing is one of many reasons I don't allow my dogs in my lap when they're in the car with me. Not to mention the obvious safety issue.
manofmerr 27
Man, thats one shi This person has been removed from existence by the sentient snake that secretly controls fml. The snake thanks you for your patience, and urges you to think twice before using a terrible, over used pun.