Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML
Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
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Top comments
False_Stupidity 42
Oh my, It just goes to show that common sense isn't necessarily a genetic trait, or that common. I hope she is not super impressionable and believes everything she reads or hears, although it's looking like it.
vikky538 29
Except for the rice. Its adds trans fat and reduces the carbs in rice.
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Comments (33)
False_Stupidity 42
Oh my, It just goes to show that common sense isn't necessarily a genetic trait, or that common. I hope she is not super impressionable and believes everything she reads or hears, although it's looking like it.
vikky538 29
Except for the rice. Its adds trans fat and reduces the carbs in rice.
UserError94 18
And as we all know trans fat is the best kind of fat for you cause it transmits all the bad fat away
MyGFisaturd 23
I hope you mean ex-daughter
SixthSinEnvy 39
If murder was justifiable for stupidity, the word "overpopulation" wouldn't exist in our world. Ever.
Misswildsides 22
30, if that was the case, I don't think I'd want to live in a world like that.
deathrise007 22
I hope she understood. Maybe teach her to have more common sense, at least food wise.
Tripartita 45
Yes… boiling the abiotic energy in food melts it, but the hydrochloric acid (yes, hydrochloric acid! How cool is that?) in our stomachs is just like, "Cool, I'll let you right on by."
Teyros 24
I guess her brain melted along with her core body temperature. Atleast she's light though.
captain_hero89 22
it melts in your mouth. not in your stomach
PurpleMyth 28
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
mneill 6
Eh, to be fair, all cooking of foods with fat in them have some "calories" "melted" out of them, as the fat renders and cooks out. Though deep frying probably adds them all back plus some. She's not completely off base...
iiTzNeeNerz 26
The only way calories "melt" is by exercising after you consume them.
Dale_shackleford 13
Deep frying is probably the most unhealthy way to prepare food.
zeffra13 31
#17 She means how some of the fatty oils leak out of food when it cooks. That's why the pan is greasy after. Take bacon grease for example, that's a lot of calories that are no longer in the bacon.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
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whysojealous 18
Doesn't frying food ADD calories??? Or am I just stupid?
Redgy22 26
Here in New Orleans, if you fry it, you put it in batter first & that definitely adds calories!!! Don't know how else you would fry something....
RedCronos 17
If only it worked like that