Awkward

Thank you for being a friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 186

You deserved it 240

Unhinged

By Marcus - 02/06/2026 08:00 - United States

Today, the girl who said we were “just friends” had a meltdown when I told her I went on a date with a girl I met on Hinge. She literally told me two months ago after me giving her the shirt off my back and being her emotional support anchor for nearly four years that we were “just friends.” So what’s the deal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 43

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 316

Family matters

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Graham

Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 60

Assumptions

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to get a haircut. The hairdresser at the counter was kind of cute, so I had to say something non-standard. When she greeted me with her hello, I replied, "Guess what I need from you today?" She looked at me, considered, and replied, "An eyebrow wax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 527

You deserved it 40 416

Sorry sweetie

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 05:00 - United States

Today, I admitted to my best friend that I was having second thoughts about getting married and was probably going to break up with him. Unfortunately, my fiance's daughter, who I absolutely adore, overheard the conversation and threw a huge screaming tantrum asking why I didn't want to be her mommy anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 534

Party zone!!

By helloworld92 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 8 260

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 13:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 954

Opt out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, on our first wedding anniversary, my husband confessed that he had tried to leave me at the altar and only went through with it due to my dad, brothers, whiskey, and drowsy cold medicine, but now tat he’s given it the old college try and lasted a whole year, he wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 64

Double life

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 16:00 - United States - St. Cloud

Today, I found out the man (M 43) that I’ve (F 32) been seeing on and off for 5 or 6 years secretly got married two weeks ago. He was even at my job for an event a week ago and didn’t even tell me. This man took my first kiss and virginity. I even provided emotional support when his aunt and sister passed from cancer. Absolutely blindsided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 106

No kidding

By Minding my own biz - 26/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, at brunch, a friend started talking about wanting kids. The table immediately turned into a debate about whether having children is selfish, noble, irresponsible, or “bad for the planet.” The waiter came back 3 times asking if we were ready to order, while 8 adults argued over the future of humanity next to untouched eggs Benedict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 128

Cuckoo

By Fuck them both - 26/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my mom gave me thirty days notice to find an apartment and move out. Why? She's dating my former best friend and wants to move him in, but he won't do it until I'm gone because it would be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 71

The economy is doing great

By Anonymous - 26/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, during a work happy hour, someone complained about “people who still live with their parents after 25.” I laughed along before remembering I had taken the train there from my parents’ house because my landlord raised my rent again. To make it worse, the guy at the table later asked if anyone could spot him money for a taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 213

Honest mistake

By Luke - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Liverpool

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 808

You deserved it 30 358

Toxic

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, thanks to grandparent rights, I have to allow my toxic mother, who forced me into beauty pageants when I was a kid, to visit my kids. I hate her so much but I don't have a choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 70

What will people think?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 656

Come again?

By ForeverAlone - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, I emotionally confessed my feelings to the guy I like. His English isn't that good, so he asked me to repeat myself several times. He ended up saying no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 3 161

Thrown for a loop

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 17:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a cashier at a store was so gorgeous that when she asked if I needed a bag, I grabbed everything and simply said, "Thanks, you too." I dropped something on the way out of the store and I haven't gone back. I've seen her a few times around town and she giggles at me when I pass by. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 318

Social butterfly

By Rico - 20/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 265

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, it's been 3 days since I matched with someone online and have been crafting witty, charming messages. We finally agreed to meet, and the second I walked into the café, I realized he was the bartender who'd already seen me cry there after a breakup six months earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 196

Pub quiz blues

By Anne - 19/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a trivia night, I got overly confident after answering three questions correctly in a row. The final question asked for the capital of Australia, and I loudly whispered “Sydney” to my entire team like I was saving us. We lost by one point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 386

Not a geography major

By Yulia - 18/05/2026 21:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 67

Shambles

By Biancap - 18/05/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband isn’t the biological father of our daughter when we consulted about the bone marrow transplant formula she needs for her leukemia. I don’t know who the real father is because I had a drunken one-night stand at a friend’s birthday party. My marriage and daughter’s life is in shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 948

Mix up

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 09:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, my friend, her husband, their baby and I went to a baseball game. The lady next to us asked if her and his kid was mine and her husband's kids. She's 5 years older than me and a different race. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 70

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 21:00 - Canada - North York

Today, my first time having sex was in the back of her car in my university parking garage. We went for hours with people walking all around us not noticing, because we fogged up the car after a while. While I got out, I noticed my best friend with the biggest grin taking a picture of me getting out of her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 331

Manipulation

By Hurt - 15/05/2026 13:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I checked my husband's phone, as mine was dead. When I opened it, I saw a text conversation with his friend. He recently said, "Man you just gotta ignore your wife more. I stopped paying so much attention to mine and next thing I knew she was all over me, it's awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 177

Suspicious activity

By Loss prevention - 14/05/2026 14:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I caught a dude acting suspicious in the self checkout at Target and took him to the Loss Prevention office. Turns out he'd paid for everything, and he turned into such a Karen at being "wrongly detained" that I ended up giving him a gift card just to get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 660

Weird anniversary mood but OK

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 05:00 - United States - Northport

Today, it was me and my wife's anniversary. I spent it consoling her as she cried over a man she loved 20 years ago. They never even dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 93

Cashier 4U

By Anonymous - 14/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, at a busy register, I greeted a customer, started scanning items, and only halfway through realized they were on their phone with earbuds in and had not actually been talking to me. I got flustered, scanned the same item twice, and had to call over a manager while the line behind them got longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 124

Breaking news

By helenablitz - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 462

You deserved it 5 183

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 064

You deserved it 1 843

Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 274

You deserved it 3 497

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 085

You deserved it 3 184

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 744

You deserved it 2 258

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 533

You deserved it 6 493

Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 946

You deserved it 2 930