Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
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Top comments
Dat_Class_Tho 26
When Listerine inroduced a cinnamon flavored mouth wash, I thought, "Why the hell would anyone in their right mind want to set their mouth on fire?..." But now I get it.
liinkinparkfan97 34
How unlucky! I thought it was kind of a force of habit to cover your mouth when you yawn though? Maybe that's just me. But seriously, sorry OP. At least you'll know to cover your mouth in the future!
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Comments (33)
DaDezza244 31
That's unfortunate, try covering your mouth next time.
cacheson 42
Al the Spider's descent into the Cave of Wonders ended most disastrously...
Qandol 26
bon appetit OP.
cats4lyfe 25
Bone app the teeth.
Lalala579121 28
Would you like a do-over on that, 19?
cats4lyfe 25
I think you missed the joke, 22.
liinkinparkfan97 34
How unlucky! I thought it was kind of a force of habit to cover your mouth when you yawn though? Maybe that's just me. But seriously, sorry OP. At least you'll know to cover your mouth in the future!
Ultimate_Batman 28
You comment everywhere
akelly727 0
And you read the comments everywhere. Ironic don't you think?
Varieus 30
#4 I think it depends on the person, I personally don't cover my mouth when I yawn when I am by myself but in public or just near other people I will cover my mouth to be respectful or whatnot.
False_Stupidity 42
They were stretching their arms, it's a little hard to cover a yawn while doing that.
Ultimate_Batman 28
yeah
_parth 20
Burn it down!
Dat_Class_Tho 26
When Listerine inroduced a cinnamon flavored mouth wash, I thought, "Why the hell would anyone in their right mind want to set their mouth on fire?..." But now I get it.
ApplePie1994 27
But Listerine is already hot enough! Why would you add cinnamon to it!
akelly727 0
It's only a FML if you punched yourself in the face trying to kill it. If not I think it's a YDI for yawning that damn long without your mouth covered. Even if it wasn't that long and it was some freak timing coincidence it probably could of been avoided.. how? By covering your mouth from the beginning. Just my opinion, but maybe I'm just too old fashioned :)
Arashikage 18
Most idiotic thing I've ever heard
False_Stupidity 42
The yawn was just secondary. They had leaned back to stretch their arms which makes it a little harder to cover their mouth.
species4872 20
Tell the spider to leg it.
Tripartita 45
Dude, I know it sucks at first, but it'll pay off once your reflexes dramatically improve and you get to banter with Tony Stark.
RichardPencil 32
Suicidal spider just wanted to go out in a blaze of glory! No munching on an insecticide-killed fly to end it all, no, sir! He's gonna go out and **** up a human at the same time.