Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, I went to take a shower. I noticed a funky smell, but I just assumed it was from whoever had been there last. When I pulled the shower curtain back, I found out that my sister has stopped using feminine hygiene products for her period. It looked like someone had died in the bathtub. FML
Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML
Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Nah, she wasn't experimenting. Do you realize how hard it is to exfoliate your anus without proper exfoliating gloves? It's difficult. Pro-tip: Never use steel-wool.
kellyem2 20
At least you discovered this before you put them on your face, right?
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Comments (64)
ocramavaf 15
what was she experimenting with exfoliating gloves and her anus?
azyjazy713 11
My guess is anal. Unfortunately a lot of ppl stick things up their butt that they shouldnt.
jizzwold 21
Nothing wrong with that other than messing around with someone else's stuff.
oreoeater 21
Well at least it wasn't something Worse, like the toilet plunger.... Yikes
theDopestChiick 8
she was pleasuring herself
ohcheriecherie 20
but why wouldn't she at least wash them after she was done?
sashakotlik 14
And why would she poop on them??
lolfood 24
There's poop in her butt already.
smokecloud_ 37
Exactly why that's an exit only. :x
TordNorski 30
Wrong hole!
alphabetta 23
Uh, no. Everyone knows that you're supposed to stick it in your eye sockets. Geez.
ThatSlappinBass 32
I thought it was the ears?!
ViviMage 40
Nope, those are qtips!!
TallMist 32
Guys, you clearly got it all wrong. It's supposed to be up the nose! Get it right!
Melodija 19
That is absolutely vile.
leary96 15
I agree what an asshole move.
lexiieeex3 32
Just buy your own damn gloves sheesh the nerve.
Welshite 40
Nah, she wasn't experimenting. Do you realize how hard it is to exfoliate your anus without proper exfoliating gloves? It's difficult. Pro-tip: Never use steel-wool.
ravens4life 12
Is that pro-tip from personal experience?
schwaka 17
probably xD
lengi123 18
steel wool is to get ink off of your nuts, fez
kellyem2 20
At least you discovered this before you put them on your face, right?
JuliaaNoelle 26
What if she's been experimenting with them for a long time, but this is the first time she's gotten her feces on it?
yuzuhere 21
The horror!
Danne696 14
Well, that would be more than horrible..
Slimbo305 11
What if she had been experimenting prior to her seeing the skid marks??? She just forgot to clean them good this time
azyjazy713 11
Clean up on aisle 1!
13ky13 20
Aisle #2 actually...
lolfood 24
When the last time you ****** a ********?
TheDrifter 24
From top to bottom I see it as the third option too.
TheElBurrrito 21
I think people are missing the reference to "#2"
lexiieeex3 32
33 just stop talking.
noonenoeone 22
33s actually correct in everything she said...the thumbs downs are coming from the people uneducated about the human anatomy.
vipirius 18
I love how the comment saying Noor is right got upvoted but Noor's comments are still buried. Gotta love the FML community.
TheDoctorDonna 23
I would hide them from her...
Bekll 31
Or burn them - buy a new pair you hide from her.
BootheGhost 6
Plot twist, OP's sister was trying to hide it from OP.
OysterPearls 33
29, Why wouldn't you want to hide the fact that you were using someone else's belongings to pleasure yourself...
TheDoctorDonna 23
#8 that's a better plan and put them in a place she will never find them
parism143 28
Did you just reply to your own comment to agree with yourself?
TheDoctorDonna 23
No actually I commented to agree with #8 saying that burning it was a better idea then to just hide it
keirissleepy 10
but you are #8
TheDoctorDonna 23
Oh whoops sorry I ment #12... Crap...
dman1997 5
Don't hide them, rub some jalapeño pepper on them and put them back where you usually put them.
vikingsfan619 5
Well that stinks
rachelm17 15
That does literally stink!!!
lolfood 24
That's the joke.
Dillyduzit 23
I would have a talk with her about using other people's things without their permission. Especially if said use involves the nether regions.
Unluckymeow 9
Sometimes this doesn't work. I have talked to my younger sister about her using my stuff without my permission, and most of the time she doesn't care or listen. She also has this wonderful habit of never returning my belongings and losing them. If OPs sister is like mine, the best thing to do is to hide or lock up your stuff.
Dillyduzit 23
But does she use your things to pleasure herself? If OP's sister has any moral conscious, she'd be ashamed at being caught and reconsider her actions. If that doesn't work, (assuming the two live at home) I'd get a parent involved. Everyone deserves to feel they and their belongings are safe at home.
cryssycakesx3 23
"mo-om, Becky is using my stuff to pleasure herself again...!!"
Unluckymeow 9
No, my sister doesn't. You have a point, if OPs sister has a moral conscious then hopefully she stops immediately, and if she doesn't then let's hope that OPs parents can talk some sense into her sister. I'm just coming from my own personal experiences. I am in the situation where my parents are broken records; they tell her not to do things, and if she does it anyway they just keep repeating not to do it without taking any disciplinary measures.
Dillyduzit 23
I understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend has three siblings that are all the exact same way. Unfortunately my advice pretty much runs out if getting the parents involved doesn't work, but best of luck to you! You won't have to live with her forever :)
Grumpy Jack 27
Jalapeño sounds good. Otherwise, a big slap in her face with said poop-stained glove.
breakinlegs 19
Time to keep your new gloves locked up. And any hair brushes and mirrors and tooth brushes... oh crap hide it all quick!
BootheGhost 6
OP's sister was already trying to hide them.