Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML
Today, I begged my parents not to take me to a restaurant for my birthday, but sure enough, they took me to one, along with my siblings, aunts, uncles, you name it. Ordering with them is a nightmare, so after a whole half-hour the waiter still hadn’t gotten everyone’s complicated orders written down. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML
Today, my parents were supposed to take me out to eat for my birthday, but since their favorite child wasn't with us, I instead got a mini order of tots from Sonic as my birthday meal/present. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML
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Top comments
rudegirlmania 10
...An eight minute bathroom break???
ScaughtieHolden 11
37, "all over the sink?"
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Comments (44)
rudegirlmania 10
...An eight minute bathroom break???
IphonFML 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Suprise!!!! that was ur present
WCARlover 35
Yeah I find it kind of weird that OP was so specific about it, too...
enonymous 9
Kind of like a 3 hour tour for Gillian. I assume it was planned for 8 minutes but turned into a 'holy god what tofurkey did I eat last night' ass explosion
alaskanhybrid 5
Be thankful its not April Fools yet.
blacksswan 10
How is 8 minutes too long for a bathroom break? I am pretty sure it takes more than eight minutes to walk to the bathroom, close the door, put a sheet on the toilet, take your pants down, sit down, do your stuff, wipe, stand up, zip up, flush, unlock the door, all over the sink, wash your hands, check yourself out in the mirror, throw away napkin you used to dry your hands, walk back out and all the way to your table.
ScaughtieHolden 11
37, "all over the sink?"
UrLyfSuxx 0
Maybe there was a line.
XenaWP 6
The bathroom break isn't the problem- it's the stupid vegetarianism. -sigh- do people realize that every time they take a drink of milk they are supporting killing bobby calves? Unless you swear off all food derived from animals, you're an idiot. Even then, good luck surviving healthily with no animal content in your diet- we don't have a herbivorous gut to handle a diet like that.
akayc32 0
43, cows make a lot of milk. See, they will produce for their calf, so if you steadily take more and more from a nursing cow, she will steadily produce more and more for her calf. People, horses, cows, dogs, cats, and virtually every other animal does it too. That doesn't always mean that the person that owns the cows will do it this way, sometimes the calf becomes veal, but essentially they want the baby so it can grow to be a dairy cow or "other" as well. Learn some anatomy.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Actually many dairy cows are milked to death. Keeping up with the high demand for milk wears them out. If you are vegetarian because of animal cruelty or something, you should probably look to soy, rice, or almond milk.
NoLongerExists 11
Maybe if you were more calm about it, 43, people would read your opinion. You sound like an stupid, ignorant troll in your comment, and I think you are just that.
akayc32 0
50, eventually, yes, but if you drink store bought milk you can expect the animal has been mistreated since the price is so low, but a calf doesn't die every time a cow is milked. Find a local dairy farm, fresh milk is better for you anyway.
bobbycorwen 5
I don't want people killing bobby calves!
docscientist 10
43 - you can survive fine on a vegan diet. You just need to be aware of getting the right nutrients by eating a variety of plants.
jayyw5 3
Pretty sure most of those things that are done in the bathroom take seconds, not minutes. I don't know about you but I don't take my sweet ass time in the bathroom; I just want to get the **** out.
urdirtyolduncle 15
43- A Bobby calve sounds like a vicious predator. I'm glad I'm supporting its death. *sips a glass of Bobby milk*
Im2Handsom 1
What the hell? What a bunch stinky toe nails.
chelseaaababyyy 17
stinky toe nails ?
cj7geojeep 0
What the hell are you talking about?
CadillacPimpen 6
That's why you take a dump at your house before you go out..
onlychildFTW 34
That just really sucks. But 8 minutes is awhile. But still they shouldn't have done that.
lakaiskate 12
Not if you are taking a dump bro those things take time.
mspoutylips 8
Your family is lovely.
jpoole 4
Sounds like you destroyed the bathroom, kinda hard to do as a vegetarian...
ohSNAPyall 27
Vegetarians can eat plenty of fiber!
WCARlover 35
Wow your family sucks...but uh, happy birthday!
xcarxcrashx 9
You were totally pooping!!
bn326160 13
Your pic is scary :(
DevilGirl66 15
No it's an awesome pic lol
foodlord 5
Bitches
kaykay20 0
They could have settled for olive garden at least but they probably would have dipped out on you either way. Fyl for them acting like inconsiderate douches on your birthday.