Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I thought I had fully patched up the hole in the wall near the stairs. I was proven wrong when I heard my cat screaming and hissing near it. The black cat who lives in my backyard decided to say hi, which my cat didn't take too kindly to. She absolutely whooped his ass. Not a fun thing to wake up to. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML
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Top comments
AlysoninAlaska 19
It's okay, guard kitty is on the case!
thatonetribute 31
This is how all the horror movies start!
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Comments (60)
ForwardUn2Dawn 18
Cat-inormal Activity.
Potato_Lord 18
Of your story ends up like mine the next step is waking up to a raccoon painting your brand new white carpet with an assortment of food.
kirkaygri 18
If it's like mine, it's an opossum in the cat food bag.
countryb_cth 38
If it's like mine it's a bat in the umbrella.
MsFit 17
If it's like mine, then it's the spawn of Satan showing up unannounc...wait, is this thread only for animals or does my mother-in-law qualify?
heackargirl 9
I just love you for that! Oh aaand, I have one of those 2. I think the devil has quite a few daughters :))
Rintarok5 29
Cats probably just messing with you
MandieL 27
They are assholes.
lmbachman 23
SQUIRREL!!!! Or another cat with whom she was fighting and that's what busted the screen. Cats don't usually act like that when it's a human.
Lalala579121 28
Probably just a demon or zombie cat.
mattiscg 22
love the nametag
PotatoesAndCake 26
Possessed?
hatedbythefamily 1
you need to take a hunter safety course and vet your pal and if you plan on getting a handgun you need to take a restricted class
writerchic85 26
It's scary when animals know something you don't. I remember one time when I was a kid my mom and I came home to find out cat growling and puffed up on the couch just stone still. He kept it up for several minutes. We searched the whole house to see if some animal got in or something. Nothing. I say ghosts!
TrueMurderer12 11
Run, far, far away