Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
*Cue the shitty puns*
TenderizeMe 0
MUWHA
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Comments (74)
Erindub 0
That absolutely sucks.
babycakess10 0
wow that's uncomfortable :/
boo_bee_fur_me 2
you should've took some shit and put all over the walls and seat.
baconboy_42 8
Been there; done that. It really does suck.
Carelesshottie1 5
Well that is quite shitty.
Zmeilerr 22
Just like your pun.
truehitman2010 0
sound like a s..... I'm not a twat never mind
Iloreanes 0
YDI for going to the fair.
overthelimit 3
well when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Jasonf6 0
I woulda told them to **** off or I'll fling poo at them.
MrMayor 2
should have sh!t all over the inside for those kind people hammering on the door