Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML
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Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
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Top comments
4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20
If your toddler isn't potty train, why isn't he/she wearing a diaper?
Luky13 0
bah. you people make me sad. the video obviously bored the shit out of her.
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Comments (58)
PrincessNothing 0
Double comment is cause for internet failure. :( My bad.
SuperMaria 0
I agree with 32. That sounds like a post for your livejournal (or deadjournal, remember that?!?!?!?), not FML.
SuperMaria 0
The best way to potty train is by leaving the diaper off so they can see what is happening down there. However, the unfortunate news is you'll probably need a new carpet. Not a FML, just a normal part of parental life.
Iknoweverything 29
Just a reminder that some children take off their own diapers, to those of you who vote YDI. :) Although I voted YDI too... make sure the child has on SOMETHING before turning on the video that tells you how to teach her where to poop!
SuperMaria 0
number 1: Kids really PISS me off.
katplayer 4
This has to be fake. Girls don't poop!
vomitknife 0
My nephew used to crap in his diaper then pull it off and shake it out on the floor, on my boat( first and last time he'll be on my boat) in the store etc. You always knew when he did it because you would hear him laugh about it. One or two turds on the floor during training won't be so bad, I bet she'll get the hang of the potty chair quickly.
thisismyname_fml 1
Seriously? If we post every bad potty training experience from a parent, this site will be nothing but floor ******** and bed wetting. Every.Single.Parent. has a story about how potty training sucks. Nobody's kid just magically learns it the first time without having an accident. I bet you're also the kind of parent who makes facebook status updates about every time your kid sneezes. Did you take a picture of the shit on the floor, then tag your kid in it, linking to the facebook account you made for it while you were still pregnant, with the ultrasound as it's first default picture? Get over it.
Sammara 0
Wait. So, you decided to learn how to potty train AFTER sitting your presumably-nude (or at least pants-less) child on your couch? "Okay, well, the diaper's off...that has to be the first step. Second step would be to learn what to do, I guess. So, I'll just sit her on the couch, because she'll already know better than to poop on there."
HomeAl0ne 20
Something similar happened to me except I was watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When I turned around saw junior trying to lift that 8 kg chainsaw with his hands in the wrong position, man, I laughed so hard.