Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
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Top comments
slooby_fml 25
She's pretty clever to not fall for your shenanigans
ryanthecheeseguy 18
This girl is going places. Not college, but places.
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Comments (123)
CrissyyyS2 22
Atleast she didn't fall for you guys being a ghost family and needing to go to the hospital for trying to run through a door.
iSpasticFantasti 14
Reading everyone elses comments I don't know what's worse, believing this as a kid or believing it but not being logical about it. As a kid I believed this from my own reasoning but instead of being terrified of exploding, I TRIED to grow plants in my stomach... Ah well, being weird isn't breaking news for me.
xninix_fml 36
This made me laugh.
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
yes #54!
michelleJ11 25
You could Google it. Google makes everyone feel better.
mrsnugglefunny 10
Props to your son
jonnyscash 12
Am I the only one thinking of the rugrats episode where they convince chucks a watermelon will grow inside of him. Angelica.. What a little shit she was huh?
HoneyBadger666 7
Dude, that episode traumatized me for a bit when I was little and stupid. You do not understand how freaking meticulous I was when it came to eating watermelons without swallowing the seeds. Even after I realized my utter stupidity, I was still like, "mmm...better not..." for a while.
luc887_fml 28
Swallow an apple seed in front of her so she believes you. Just try not to die right after :)
hiholls 13
You're daughter is dumbed down by too much TV. My sisters told me the same with grapes, apples and watermelon. I always believed them for 30 minutes at most. I was also told I was adopted, never was inconsolable. You raised a spoiled brat.
badams92 5
Swallow a seed and show her you'll both be fine.