Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my dad called my recently unemployed son a no-good bum for not job hunting. My son literally spent all day beefing up his resume and scheduling job interviews for the whole week. It's not the 1920s anymore, dad. You can't just walk into a building, ask for a job, and get hired right on the spot. FML
Today, I gave my son a job as a shelf stacker in one of my stores. He is in his thirties and is so dumb that he has been fired from every other job for incompetence. I don’t want him to starve or lose his flat, but I also couldn’t give him an important job in case he screwed it up. FML
Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML
Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML
Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML
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Top comments
annie_nk 23
I saw people dodge bullets in The Matrix. So now I know what to do if someone points a gun at me.
Ambient25 25
I blame OP for not smacking him upside the head
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Comments (94)
Evil_Wench 16
You could've avoided this by helping him with, or at least checking his resume to begin with. Parenting shouldn't stop just because your child is old enough to work.
SergeantSnuggles 12
Movies and other sources deteriorate out minds, especially the younger kids. Knock some sense into that boy!
saidoh_fml 26
Was that from "The Heat" with Sandra Bullock and the actress from Bridesmaids? I watched it yesterday on the plane and that was one of the quotes.
Cassowary_lover 14
I, on the other hand, think it is perfectly acceptable to quote "The Heat" in your résumé.
riiiiimha 3
Your child deserves an award