Today, my sister wanted to play football in the garden with me.... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 26/03/2020 19:04

Today, my sister wanted to play football in the garden with me. Thinking she hated football, we kicked the ball around to each other. Next thing I know, she nutmegs me, pulls my shorts down in the process, causing me to fall over, and then to make matters worse, her knee caught me in the nuts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 12

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Callyn 47

Tuesday 31 March 2020 19:36

What the hell does "nutmegs me" mean? I would have thought it had something to do with kicking you in the nuts, but it can't be that because you mention that she knees you in the nuts later on.

Comments

Callyn 47

Tuesday 31 March 2020 19:36

What the hell does "nutmegs me" mean? I would have thought it had something to do with kicking you in the nuts, but it can't be that because you mention that she knees you in the nuts later on.

Keywords

Love Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Jealousy Social Media Facebook Relationship advice Kids AITA Annoying Roommate Shoes Names Music Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 76

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 151

The Top

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 282

You deserved it 7 354

Today, I found out how easy it is for people to get into my flat when I found bailiffs in my kitchen at 9am. They had picked the lock to look for someone who doesn't live at my address, but at least had the courtesy to tell me how to make my home more secure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 706

You deserved it 3 560

Today, my girlfriend of two years finally agreed to marry me. As I went on with the proposal, her Grandma tried rejecting me by saying, "These guys have gangster friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 142

Today, while on the roof of my friend's house, I took a shortcut down by jumping onto the roof of his nearby shed. Not only did I go right through it and hurt my arm, I've also received several calls from my friend's dad, demanding I pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 884

You deserved it 54 540

Today, I came home to pizza boxes piled high, dirty laundry everywhere, and a sink full of roaches, but all I did was smoke a bowl and turn the Switch on. My boyfriend and I have let our lives fall apart ever since our state legalized weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 705

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 547

You deserved it 69 832