Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
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Top comments
CoGhostRider 31
Might as well go order a steak now
domiirose28 9
And I bet you thought it was delicious!
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Comments (173)
Longshott 4
It's not a damn religion, they aren't going to excommunicate you. Don't sweat it.
girlymae 12
Better that kind of meat than another....
beanthemouse 13
I have nothing against veg*ans (except PETA), but I find this funny. Don't worry, some vegetarians eat chicken, but then I don't really count them as veg then TBH.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
That really is awful of your cousin to do. He/she knew you were vegetarian and yet allowed you/tricked you into eating pizza with chicken while you were drunk. Not only is that a terrible thing to do (since I'm sure you trusted your cousin) but it can also be dangerous if you consume too much meat at one time after not having eaten it for a while. Though I'm sure there wasn't a lot of chicken on the pizza, so you'll be fine, it was still very bad of your cousin to do that. I think you two should talk.
Peepsaredumb 6
I've been one for 7 years too and I ate ribs last night cause my boyfriends dad basically forced me to because he made them special..I made a bathroom excuse and vomited
stridercab 12
Shut up and eat meat. You're a human, which is an omnivore, not an herbivore.
SaySayGurl 10
I feel sorry for you. I've been vegan for over five years now and if I had even just a little bit of meat, I really think I might vomit. Hope you're feeling better, OP. And maybe next time try not to get do drunk that you can't tell the difference between chicken and cheese.
schalk 12
Bacon happens to be the best hangover cure
jtaylor991 6
I don't see why one moment matters, it's not like you're not a vegetarian anymore
dillweed925 1
That means that a chickens DNA was broken down and turned into energy for your body to use. Your life could be way worse.