Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML
Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Today, I was at a party, and heard a mutual acquaintance had been arrested. I asked what for, and was told "Cheese pizza." I yelled in confusion and outrage, since I thought they were joking. I was told later in private what "Cheese pizza" meant. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
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Top comments
CoGhostRider 31
Might as well go order a steak now
domiirose28 9
And I bet you thought it was delicious!
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Comments (173)
Axel5238 29
That sucks, but it's only a slip. Just be glad if that's the worst thing you do while drunk. Also since you didn't even notice you might want to lay off drinking for a while.
DWynter 11
How drunk do you have to be to think chicken is cheese? Oh, well, not much of a friend, in my opinion. I have several vegetarian friends, and I would never do that. As for you personally, I understand you're upset, but it was a minor slip, so I think your record is still clean.
AG1216 18
Just "start over", i know its feels terrible for us vegetarians when we believe theirs no meat but there is. And maybe next time dont get so drunk? And check before you eat something?
azhang1066 12
Maybe just take the hint that your true self is when you are drunk so you should realize the value of meat and stop being a silly vegetarian. Meat is good for you.
askingandy 23
Could you not be an ignorant little shit?
Yakostovian 18
Just because someone is a vegetarian does not make them silly. Judge a person as silly if they wear crocs or something.
EffyFails 18
being a vegetarian isn't silly, sorry but there are various reasons why someone would want to be a vegetarian such as they might simply just not like the taste or the idea of eating something that's dead. Why eat something you don't like. Although I think they kinda deserve this one.
TheAngryPrincess 3
Chicken is good. I couldn't be a vegetarian. I like burgers and chicken.
coversquirrel 8
Its okay. Chances are it wasnt actually chicken. Maybe horse but not chicken.
andyxagony 6
At least you could stay for 7 years. I lasted 3
10showgirl 16
You didn't once question why it was especially tasty?
NodakN8V 25
Better than a fortune cookie telling you that wasn't chicken you ate...
Raum 19
I hope you're feeling alright, OP. My girlfriend is vegetarian, and some asshat slipped her some meat one time because he thought it would be "funny" and she got sick. I hope the same didn't happen to you. Try not to feel bad about what happened, you obviously didn't do it on purpose.