Love: Today, I went on a first date for the first time since I broke...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Missa_Sissa - 03/03/2016 06:54 - United States - Helena

Today, I went on a first date for the first time since I broke up with my boyfriend. Everything was going great until the end of the night when the guy groped me and then proceeded to ask me to touch his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Mental health Growing old Health Relatable Periods Embarrassing Work Job interview Awkward Education Instagram Social Media Love Stalker Phobias Spiders Animals Ironic Bikes Transportation Ecology Kids Weird Parents Confused AITA Drunk Poopoo peepee Facebook Geek

The Top

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 1 874

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 489

The Top

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 131

You deserved it 6 495

Today, I went on my first date in seven months. We hit it off really well, having a lot of things in common. The only thing we don't have in common is a tan line from a wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 419

You deserved it 1 171

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 469

You deserved it 21 447

Today, it will be the third time since moving to this area that I will have to call out of work because of gunshots heard nearby, police looking for someone and advising us to stay indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 229

Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 647

You deserved it 2 561

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 665

You deserved it 3 246