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creepermagnet United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Top comments

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best pickup line ever.

D: oh god.

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Comments (910)

Callilah 13

Hahaha, I'm sorry that he was creepy, lord was he creepy. But that literally was the best FML!

Read OP's responses in 82 and 84.

watchmerun11 10

It gay and get a life nerd even thoug I'm a nerd

watchmerun11 10

Sorry about that my idiot fried sole my phone and thought that saying that would be funny, fml

...that is so creepy.

No worrying about his commitment...?

J9DeeZy 4

Paranoid Schizophrenia.

I think it could be a good sign

paramore9847 3

Who the **** says that??? O.o

pinguino3669_fml 23

Well, since you said he was joking a lot, it sure seems like a joke! But make sure he was though :O

shakile78 7

It's not that bad