Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
creepermagnet tells us more.
Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.
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Top comments
Ender_ 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best pickup line ever.
mak_fml 0
D: oh god.
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Comments (910)
wtfuckery 0
Hahaha, that's hysterical. I DO hope he was kidding, though, lol.
T_cina 0
SOOOO CREEPY!
Amkii 0
Wtf? Ewww. Never talk to this creeper again. Joke or not, that's just ******* weird.
RainbowTubeSocks 0
sorry but i don't think he was into you and needed a way to end it.
UnCensoredBitch 0
I hope he just has a weird sense of humor! ;)
JOELY_fml 0
funniest thing EVER
terimaa 0
PLUMP? lmao oh my gosh, this is hilarious yet insanely creepy. i would have just walked off.. laughing. but still walking off. :]
AnneFTW 17
LMAO I hope he plans to marry you first XD But seriously what a creep! I hope he doesn't know where you live!
aynonymous 0
thats fuckkiinggg HILARIOUS
Uconnrunner 0
He is joking. He probably found you very annoying, and said that so you would never want to talk to him again.
Elisabetha Aarron 18
Read the update, I don't think he was joking.