Animals: Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog...

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 978

You deserved it 5 560

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Same thing different taste

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 775

You deserved it 20 084

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 547

You deserved it 5 912

By secret - 02/11/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 724

You deserved it 5 432

By alphabetman - 14/09/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 940

You deserved it 6 793

Wet dream

By Annettedarling - 21/04/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 992

You deserved it 523

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 735

You deserved it 47 093

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 236

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 32 285

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 3 598

By aoliver03 - 11/09/2018 18:30

Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 187

You deserved it 322

SeedlessMe 13

Sunday 30 May 2010 18:13

yes. you say the word 'treat' or 'cookie' in my house, you better be prepared with some for the beasts or you get harrassed!

Familia08 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 12:09

DUMBASS!

Comments

carnage1106 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 22:25

sounds like my stepmom

rayquaza5000 4

Thursday 25 November 2010 17:41

Maybe she's a bitch. Pun intended.

hotcaligirl 10

Tuesday 21 June 2011 9:42

I just did this w my dog nanny.. only b-a-t-h not t-r-e-a-t. I didn't get it, either lol. I felt like an idiot- I was exhausted but still.. lol!

neongurl98 10

Sunday 31 July 2011 15:20

He's definitely a keeper :D

paiken21 0

Monday 9 January 2012 13:55

All that I have to say to this is.......... Wow.

greenie213 23

Monday 4 June 2012 15:14

"You can't fix stupid." -Ron White

L1wolf 6

Thursday 6 December 2012 22:19

Your dog may learn to spell before he does.

xRezSynn 15

Friday 18 January 2013 20:19

...no comment. :(

Laura3415 16

Sunday 15 December 2013 2:00

I think the real FML here is the fact that you have to spell things out because your dog UNDERSTANDS.

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 21 May 2015 12:36

My dog understands "walk" and "outside". Dogs are capable of learning about 200 words or so.

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Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 331

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 838

You deserved it 22 214

The Top

Today, here in Canada, my father-in-law talked to me about how people who are "not Canadians" are destroying the country. He called me an "import" several times within the course of an hour. I've been a citizen for over twenty years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 105

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 807

You deserved it 2 275

Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 726

You deserved it 4 609

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 009

You deserved it 8 121

Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 881

You deserved it 1 719

Today, I discovered that my state is passing a bill regulating cow "emissions". Basically, we need to regulate cow farts. I live in a farming town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 521

You deserved it 1 234

Same thing different taste

Wet dream

Good boy

Blame the pooch

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