Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made...

By annababyyyy - 25/8/2014 01:09 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

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annababyyyy tells us more :

Hi! Op here, I've been a loyal fml user for 4 years now and I can't believe this got posted! Let me just clear some things up: The lecture was part of my summer camp - not college. I'm 16. I wasn't taking notes because it was summer camp. I wish I pretended it wasn't me, but I was so in shock I couldn't think straight!! Even the lecturer stared at me My friends where there and laughed hysterically, and I quickly explained what happened. I am capable of laughing at myself, so it wasn't that bad. as for all the fish puns- keep um coming!!

Work

Family values

All for nothing

Not a cheating!

By Nutty - 24/6/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

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By kinky pinky - 2/9/2020 05:02 - United States

Lowkey

Today, my husband threw a fit because I dyed my hair bright magenta. Funny, I actually dyed it three days ago. He literally just noticed. Shows how much attention he pays me. FML

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By shattysituation - 31/12/2013 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 04:46 - United States - Middleboro

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

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By fmlguy382 - 22/6/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2010 03:27 - United States

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

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By AbsolutelyEffed - 19/2/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

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By travelsickness - 10/8/2010 13:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

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By Leota - 15/8/2011 16:20 - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

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By not getting any - 31/3/2020 08:00

Weeks?

Today, I’m allergic to all forms of hormonal birth control, and due to the virus outbreak, I can’t get my implant replaced. We’re in quarantine, and my boyfriend and I just used our last condom. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/1/2010 22:08 - Canada

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

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By ugly - 7/4/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

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By Jack00412 - 8/7/2014 19:55 - United States - Montague

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

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By caaarl - 19/4/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

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By secondchild - 12/7/2019 14:00

Today, my parents spent more time, money and effort on my boyfriend's birthday present than they ever have on any of mine. FML

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By Heatherrolstonn - 29/5/2016 20:13 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

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By Trey Wipperfurth-Eisner - 13/6/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

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By EmmaleeSupertramp - 14/2/2014 03:16 - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

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By Woody - 6/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

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By randomgirl - 7/1/2012 14:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

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By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 23:09

Today, I saw that my ex-boyfriend was online and had no plans. I felt extreme happiness knowing he had no life. Then I realized that I was online and had no plans. FML

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By gravycoveredblackberry - 19/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, I had my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my lunch tray. Unthinkingly, i tossed it into the garbage can. 10 minutes later i realized I had thrown it away and spent the next hour searching through six garbage cans of half-eaten food. FML

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By ouch - 28/4/2012 06:54 - United States - Fullerton

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

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By Grand Slam - 10/9/2013 18:44 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

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By a - 1/3/2011 15:00

Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML

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By minibuch1505 - 21/9/2012 11:31 - France - Halluin

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

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By CheapFamily - 9/4/2014 23:47 - United States

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

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By still poor - 5/12/2014 06:17 - United States - Carlisle

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/9/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

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By fuck gangnam style in the anus - 20/10/2012 22:48 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML

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By preggo - 1/8/2011 01:16 - United States

Today, someone asked when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant, but I was so embarrassed to be mistaken for a pregnant lady that I rubbed my tummy and said "December." FML

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By atang - 9/4/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

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By Jacklyn - 18/3/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 20:00

Who's a good boy?

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

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By Fluffyman - 10/8/2019 04:00

Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML

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By Etta - 4/3/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

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By peteswentzbass - 26/1/2013 17:18 - Netherlands - Nuenen

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

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By rmo1776 - 6/4/2009 06:16 - United States

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

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Top comments

By colton_colton | 49

#6047397 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:39

Stare back to make them feel equally as awkward

By BadApple88 | 29

#6047399 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:40

No smell, No evidence

COMMENTS

By colton_colton | 49

#6047397 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:39

Stare back to make them feel equally as awkward

Arathis | 19

#6047406 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:55

One time in class my shoe slipped and squeaked, only the squeak sounded like a fart, and everyone stared at me too.

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6047473 - Monday 25 August 2014 17:18

Go Fish...

CHUBBYninja | 18

#6047476 - Monday 25 August 2014 17:29

#9 Go post an FML instead of here. No one cares.

By BadApple88 | 29

#6047399 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:40

No smell, No evidence

saba_ajira | 29

#6047405 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:54

Unfortunately that's not always the case. Sorry OP

silvercamaro | 21

#6047483 - Monday 25 August 2014 17:46

I think in this case the room wouldn't be looking for evidence, they're just assuming they know what happened

By Pancakes017 | 19

#6047400 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:41

Your argument sounds fishy to me.

By tony1891 | 22

#6047401 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:44

at least you didn't smell like fish op.

lennon_ | 16

#6047506 - Monday 25 August 2014 18:29

ew why do people always have to be dirty.

itwasthedognotme | 14

#6047656 - Monday 25 August 2014 20:55

Hi, you must be new here..

By Dreamsorrow93 | 24

#6047402 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:47

When that happens it's better to look up and around quickly to act like your searching for the person too.

By najraa | 19

#6047403 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:47

Always do it again, so they now it wasn't your ass that made the noise :).

vipirius | 18

#6047420 - Monday 25 August 2014 15:12

Maybe it's just my luck but I never get to make the same noise again in those situations.

nellbell414 | 13

#6047477 - Monday 25 August 2014 17:33

Yah same, or people don't believe you

SneezyBear | 27

#6047505 - Monday 25 August 2014 18:28

This exact thing happened to me once in my year 12 exam... which is even worse lmao. I (along with more than half the class) finished the exam half an hour early (it was a super easy exam), and we weren't allowed to leave until the very end. My friends could barely contain themselves and the exam supervisor was glaring at me. Good times.

IMSCARJOHANSSON | 24

#6048765 - Tuesday 26 August 2014 20:12

#29 are you ok?

By Aero_x | 21

#6047404 - Monday 25 August 2014 14:49

I was always that kid in class that walked to the back of the room and stood by the wall for a bit. When the teacher asked what I was doing I simply replied, "Farting."
Of course mine were very real and pretty much silent...