Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work,...

By StewPit - 16/04/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 257

You deserved it 75 056

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 900

You deserved it 60 074

He hath risen

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 180

Face it

By dawn - 21/07/2012 16:24 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 21 832

By Nick - 10/05/2011 07:37 - Philippines

Today, I laughed at a joke and it literally took me a minute to realize that it was me they were making fun of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 21 658

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 21:05 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 186

You deserved it 4 268

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 209

You deserved it 30 426

Random Access Memories

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 17:00

Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 278

By Anonymous - 01/04/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 869

You deserved it 8 025

Snack time

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 602

You deserved it 29 746

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 958

You deserved it 9 574

kellster 2

Friday 17 April 2009 1:25

Sometimes they're Ws, too! It's like magic!

bribubbles 10

Monday 19 September 2011 23:10

Oops not meant to do that like 47 times

Comments

bellyup 1

Friday 17 April 2009 4:30

Did you also notice that some of the M & M's didn't have M's but had W's instead?

ffpoisongirl 0

Friday 17 April 2009 4:30

While I do say you deserve it, I say it with the knowledge that I would probably have done the same thing.

FUCKMYLIFECUNT 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:00

how is that an fml?

cheyennegurl 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:17

i have this weird feeling your blonde..... hahahah just like me :)

bcmg44 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:23

hahahah this is amazing.

suckstobeyou3 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:27

if you buy a bag on wednesday, they'll have w's on them.

sdroze1389 31

Monday 13 January 2014 14:47

I'm afraid people might not understand this classy joke due to all the sympathy for garden variety stupidity and drug comments :-(

ipzbctrah 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:34

lol. sounds like something I'd say. :)

Kickinchicken213 3

Friday 17 April 2009 5:41

Dude.

just_a_teen_girl 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:49

wow, thats so not an fml

Jaina_APO 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:52

that sounds like something that I would do :D

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 16 950

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 925

You deserved it 33 384

Today, my 27 year-old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 12 076

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 993

You deserved it 25 034

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 417

You deserved it 5 837

Today, I learned that one of the reasons I may be getting migraines every day is because I subconsciously clench my jaw a lot due to stress. To try and have it hurt less, I’ve gone back to wearing my plastic retainer during the day, but it makes my gag reflux act up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 194

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 189

You deserved it 10 014