Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the...

By Anonymous - 24/05/2012 19:23 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 4 741

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Same thing different taste

Drunken mess

By SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 1 269

By Bawsack - 06/04/2017 00:00

Today, I dyed my hair. It was all going well, until I forgot I had a head full of product and scratched an itch. I didn't realise my mistake until later, and now have to replace my six-month old sofa because it has a huge stain that alternates from purple to bleach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 3 085

The temptation of the fries

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, despite trying to lose weight for months and making progress, I went out to lunch with coworkers and ended up eating a huge burger and fries. When I got back to the office, I noticed that I'd spilled ketchup all over my shirt. Now I not only feel guilty about the food I ate but I also look like a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 4 833

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 195

By xMiSS_CuTiEx - 27/12/2009 22:25 - United States

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 105

You deserved it 14 361

By tirf - 09/02/2015 22:58

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 852

You deserved it 11 063

Whatcha been up to?

By Just another Dude - 02/10/2017 13:00

Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 966

By Lady - 11/01/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 283

You deserved it 44 329

By Danielle - 09/04/2011 23:00 - United States

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 322

You deserved it 27 362

CoolBroStory 7

Friday 25 May 2012 1:18

Irony at its finest.

badbadkitty 5

Friday 25 May 2012 1:23

Could it be that now that spot is actually just cleaner than the rest of the couch now?

Comments

GaleIsHawt 5

Friday 25 May 2012 3:48

Well duh! Everyone knows stain remover actually causes stains. Dont they?

FucksIdntgive 0

Friday 25 May 2012 3:51

Dirty ass couch

BMC1999 0

Friday 25 May 2012 8:44

True dat

Hiphuray4peas 27

Friday 25 May 2012 4:00

That's why most stain removers tell you to test a patch in a non-visible area. Duh.

sammis 0

Friday 25 May 2012 4:02

That's why most stain removers tell you to test it on a small area first... But that is pretty ironic, sorry OP. At least you tried.

Megan98 18

Friday 25 May 2012 4:14

Remove it with stain remover! Oh wait....... Nevermind.

taconinja17 0

Friday 25 May 2012 4:41

Stainception!!!! but that blows:P

Jumpingmal2 7

Friday 25 May 2012 4:41

Easy solution, just douse the rest of the coach in stain remover so it all looks the same

quontag 15

Friday 25 May 2012 4:49

Wait, if the stain was larger how could it be in the same place? Wouldn't it be in a bigger area?

Unbweavable 17

Friday 25 May 2012 4:53

Are you sure that spot isn't just clean now?

uumlaut_strohson 3

Friday 25 May 2012 5:37

I don't care how old you are, when the ketchup bottle farts it's funny!

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 849

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a fingerstick in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year-old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to, "Watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The kid fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 925

You deserved it 9 749

Today, I was debating if I actually do talk to myself. I was having this conversation with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 080

You deserved it 7 593

Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 100

You deserved it 1 092

Today, I deliberately snapped a pic of myself and edited it to add to my story, in order to make my ex think I have a life on a Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 2 194

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend while the rest of my family goes to Cuba. Her neighbor started hitting on me. As it turns out, "he" was actually born as a "she", and now I'm apparently a transphobic bitch for not being interested. Two more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 105

You deserved it 1 015

Today, I realized that my mom talks to me with the exact same tone of voice she uses for my little cousin. I’m 23 and my cousin is 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 328

Same thing different taste

Drunken mess

The temptation of the fries

Whatcha been up to?

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