Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, after receiving yet again a dozen insulting texts, I realized that my dog has way better grammar than my ex. FML
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
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Top comments
designerskyline 0
Well German isn't your native language, so obviously.
Icantfindmymommy 0
Haha no the bird just copies people it doesn't speak on it's own like you hve to. Good for you tho that you do know any German at all I suck at Spanish.
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Comments (47)
gaffelfrosk 0
I'm in Japan, and I wouldn't be able to understand it if they said a birds gammar were better than mine. fMl. Be happy.
joemk2012 0
tell it, "Ruhe! Zuruck in dein Käfig!"
LilaBear 2
Why do you find this surprising? It's not an FML. Most birds* just learn to copy what they hear, so this bird has heard grammatically perfect sentences, so that's what it's going to repeat. You have to figure it out for yourself. (*The African Grey Parrot, or whatever it's called, has been known to be trained to form its own sentences and communicate properly, not just copy stuff it's heard).
lfslshlps 0
It must have been a raven or something - because they've been known to not only repeat things they've heard like parrots, but even with accents, and mocking tones. Don't believe me? Search "talking raven"
choochootrain 0
If you wanna be picky, then it's " A bird speaks better English than I do," because you don't compare an action (verb) with an agent (pronoun). tl;dr: don't nitpick FMLs, it's not a copy-editing class.
glostik 0
LoL. PWNAGE. Oh, and sucks for you! :P
Ninjaface 0
Most likely it was saying horrible things about your mother. It may speak better German than you, but I bet it also tastes better.
mmaariisaa 0
*A bird speaks better German than I.
esushi 0
That would be the case if the user said "A bird speaks better German than I do," but without the verb the "than" changes from a subordinating conjunction to a simple preposition. Sometimes "than I" is used with a kind of assumed "do" after, which is also fine--but as it stands, you are wrong for correcting her.
brianr09 0
for the love of god... please moderate these FMLs....
ActionManly 11
It's just trying to prove the superiority of the Avian race.
Sage1314 4
I was going to write something scathing, because this kind of FML pisses me off. But this is hilarious. Well Done