Miscellaneous: Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 05:56 - United States

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 756

You deserved it 6 703

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Same thing different taste

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 97

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 17:08 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 272

You deserved it 1 563

Knackered

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling tired after a work meeting, so I took a quick power nap in my office before my next meeting. When I woke up, I thought I was still in a meeting, but I had been asleep for an hour. In my panic, I tried to act cool, but I had to walk past all my coworkers, who were wondering why I looked like a zombie walking into a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 344

Spooked

By screamo - 02/05/2009 20:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 866

You deserved it 46 807

Cassius

By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 469

You deserved it 9 481

By Anonymous - 08/08/2015 05:18 - Canada

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 570

You deserved it 2 164

By Username - 04/04/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 305

You deserved it 44 559

By haleyfml - 27/10/2010 06:07 - United States

Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 671

You deserved it 5 552

By ipayyourbillsgorramit - 24/08/2012 23:29 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 464

You deserved it 1 911

Next

Top comments

its_love2 31

Sunday 17 February 2013 12:32

your dad is AMAZING

LouiseD_fml 10

Sunday 17 February 2013 12:32

Awesome dad!

Comments

Cryogenix 12

Sunday 17 February 2013 16:12

This isn't FML. This is awesome.

Satoaoi 13

Sunday 17 February 2013 16:39

lol suspicious powder beard. hopefully you stay away from the powder beards in the future

DishnobFruitCum 5

Sunday 17 February 2013 17:44

Why the hell was his beard white? Cocaine?! This FML makes no sense.

onorexveritas 23

Sunday 17 February 2013 18:45

good one dad

kb021 18

Sunday 17 February 2013 19:18

Lol that's hilarious! Your dad rocks!

Lunasis 14

Sunday 17 February 2013 21:10

Lmao no fml here XD your dad is hilarious

TinyGiant 4

Sunday 17 February 2013 21:13

Why is this an FML? Your dad is a champ

vbmg152 18

Monday 18 February 2013 0:20

I just did anal, sweetie. Don't talk to me about pain.

pattayarick 8

Monday 18 February 2013 0:46

We have a black president now.

ambitiousnygrl 17

Monday 18 February 2013 7:05

What does that have to do with anything?

Denny1 15

Monday 18 February 2013 2:25

Your dad is dad jesus

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You deserved it 178

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You deserved it 3 353

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I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 343

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 967

You deserved it 2 491