Holidays: Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While...

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

By Alan

S-Kro's illustrated FML #35

Hi everyone! It's Friday, time for another illustrated FML. Yes, it's been a while, but we've been working on stuff that...

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By Heather / Sunday 31 May 2009 17:38 / United States

Holidays

Dementia or hate? You decide

Old lady hotline

Legalize it!

By smh - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50926

You deserved it

4273

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By shea234 - United States

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27855

You deserved it

8653

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By effingdoucher - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37669

You deserved it

10967

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By traumatized - United States

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

87073

You deserved it

3584

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By Anonymous - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47389

You deserved it

12232

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 05:02

The movie of my life

Today, I learnt my boyfriend has just been using me for character development for the last 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

789

You deserved it

103

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By samgonzalessb - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41252

You deserved it

3811

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By Forgotten Birthday Girl

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4853

You deserved it

264

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31721

You deserved it

2326

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By Anonymous - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31554

You deserved it

2888

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By CANTTAKEMORE - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14304

You deserved it

2959

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By cgold - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89082

You deserved it

8806

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By baby names

Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3234

You deserved it

256

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By oops - United States

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23025

You deserved it

80473

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By nothowscienceworks - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25822

You deserved it

1718

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By Stella - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13125

You deserved it

28338

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By breakinphones - United States

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11614

You deserved it

81559

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By bonertoolong - United States

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18494

You deserved it

24006

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By micahmatt - United States

Freak

Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72287

You deserved it

5030

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By "BunnysKitty" - United States - Columbia City

Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf leftover from last night's dinner, but I couldn't find it anywhere in my fridge. Later in the evening, my boyfriend's parents invited us over for dinner. They served meatloaf. The meatloaf they stole from my fridge last night when they visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5709

You deserved it

338

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By fmlll - United States

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26068

You deserved it

59723

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45679

You deserved it

10764

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21151

You deserved it

2933

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By TooQuick - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10811

You deserved it

2726

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By InnocenceBlue

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1620

You deserved it

178

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By Anonymous - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46248

You deserved it

6764

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By Holland

Today, my check engine light came on. I took my car to the dealership, to be told it wasn’t an issue, and I would be fine to drive and use my car normally until my appointment in 4 days. Four hours later, my car won’t start 45 minutes from home. I guess a $200 tow bill means I wasn’t fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1956

You deserved it

150

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By Titanic - France

Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24904

You deserved it

5105

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By midwify - Denmark - Asaa

Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35198

You deserved it

7589

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By Anonymous - Sweden - Alings?s

Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21265

You deserved it

1838

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By Masonlee89 - United States

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11768

You deserved it

41871

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By nosrepamai82 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband made a replica of our family on The Sims 3. I also found out he killed me off a couple weeks ago and made a new wife, KiKi. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65524

You deserved it

5975

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By Anonymous - United States

Not now!

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42292

You deserved it

3816

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By Jilly - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38003

You deserved it

5279

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17515

You deserved it

101154

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By totallyscrewedomg - United States

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37305

You deserved it

12383

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By Anonymous

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29797

You deserved it

36690

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By Whoisshe

Unknown number

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1913

You deserved it

383

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By jessie - 16/12/2020 20:58 - United States - Denver

Armchair psychiatrist

Today, I was informed that I am, in fact, faking my depression. Why? Because I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks

957

You deserved it

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By Gomer - United States - New York

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38369

You deserved it

5846

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Top comments

By Nakedsquirrel | 5

#249192 - Monday 1 June 2009 1:02

Did you make your friend pee on you again? Did you stare at his/her genitals while they peed? Did a lot of pee get on an area that wasn't stung?

It's this sort of information that leaves me unable to choose between FML/YDI.

By laurisshnazzy | 0

#249177 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:59

Haha. I got stung by a jellyfish a few years ago.. no piss necessary. A few painkillers, one ointment cream, and two hours laying down with my leg elevated sent the pain away.

Sucks to be you.

COMMENTS

By catacombhome | 0

#249140 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:54

You blew it.

poezpoee | 0

#948338 - Monday 15 March 2010 3:49

rub the sting with sand it will get the bristles from the stinger out

azhein | 0

#1206840 - Sunday 8 August 2010 7:55

I have been stung by a jellyfish and didn't hurt no where near enough for me to let someone pee on me

LoganBballin16 | 0

#1380513 - Friday 10 September 2010 6:21

and ur a girl so was it a guy or a girl who pissed on u?

ahkit | 0

#2723696 - Monday 20 June 2011 18:04

big timr

By nessa69_fml | 0

#249154 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

YDI hahaha

By SimplyCydney | 0

#249155 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:56

Heh, that sucks.

Atmaster | 3

#968980 - Saturday 27 March 2010 5:26

it does suck but something almost the same happened to my sister

By mohomonopoly | 0

#249160 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:57

oh my goodness!!
that awful thing is, peeing on jellyfish stings is useless!!!
get better!!

By SasuNaru_fml | 0

#249164 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:57

That sucks. D:

By fmlAllStar7274 | 0

#249167 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:57

hahahhahahaha the irony.....

gomego87 | 0

#803981 - Thursday 28 January 2010 5:32

lmfao.

By eggnogg | 0

#249168 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:58

loser

By laurisshnazzy | 0

#249177 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:59

Haha. I got stung by a jellyfish a few years ago.. no piss necessary. A few painkillers, one ointment cream, and two hours laying down with my leg elevated sent the pain away.

Sucks to be you.

By jdkfgkjdfb | 0

#249178 - Monday 1 June 2009 0:59

It's called wet sand. Wet sand is good for jellyfish stings. Not pee.

By F_M_L_y0 | 0

#249189 - Monday 1 June 2009 1:01

Peeing on a jellyfish sting doesn't do anything, so nice one.