Intimacy: Today, I slept with my boyfriend. Or at least I thought I did....

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By nemeroff - 22/01/2016 04:04 - United States - Pelham

Today, I slept with my boyfriend. Or at least I thought I did. He and his twin brother apparently thought it would be funny to play a prank on me and my sister. We still don't know which one we slept with. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Awkward Parents Relatable Work Job interview Love Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice Friends AITA Kids Annoying Shoes Roommate Music Names Customers Capitalism Education Money Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Dogs Allergies Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 60

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 9 286

Today, my father verbally abused me for visiting my sick maternal grandfather, saying I lack common sense and intellect. He was angry that my cousin, who was the driver for the day, had her time wasted, despite the fact that my cousin planned to be with me the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 86

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 481

You deserved it 293

Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 426

You deserved it 2 972

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 706

You deserved it 13 297

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 867

You deserved it 10 478