Intimacy: Today, I slept in the top bunk for the first time. I fell off...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 00:55 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I slept in the top bunk for the first time. I fell off while asleep and bit my lip, dislocated my shoulder, and got bruises all up my arm and leg. FML

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You deserved it 0

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Coworkers TMI Work Gross Racism Customers Kids Scary Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Animals Health Insects Money Insurance Plumbing Awkward Love AITA Roommate Cheating Pregnancy Wanker Intimacy Mental health Relatable Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 81

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile, and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

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The Top

Today, I live in an apartment and all I can hear is my neighbours' bratty kids screaming with their new toys. Not only do I hate kids, making this absolute torture, I also work nights and only fell into bed at 6 a.m. this morning, so that’s 4 hours trying to sleep so far and I’m back at work in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 268

It's called fashion, look it up.

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 85

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 4 642

Today, it's my first day at my new job. Unfortunately, I have a very bad cold. When my boss leaned in to show me something on the computer, I sneezed all over him. A hell of a first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 480

You deserved it 662

Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 171

You deserved it 4 392

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 046

You deserved it 3 145